Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-14
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Education is very much necessary in this today's modern world because of advanced technologies inventions and modernized facilitiy, so for getting employments in future taking education is crucial. Some people argue that in primary schools there is very high focus on formal learning and not on other activities.
On the one hand, if school giving high focus on formal learning so it is good thing because in todays time there are limited schools who are really focusing upon academics, others are using it just as a source of income. If formal learning is happening alot it is mainly beneficial for students to get enhance and become productive as they are in learning age so they get everything quickly in their mind which they never forget and it usually helps them in their professional life. By doing formal learning students become serious in their academics and this helps in getting good results in every class.
On the contrast, by doing only formal learning students might be get bored, and even get distract from studies due to their minds not freshen, so for that extra-curricular activities are very much necessary because it helps make learn them win and loss, learn team management and coordination by taking part in other activites like speech competition, sports activity and many other activity which increase growth of students and by focusing on other activties students can release pressure of studies and enjoying playing so their minds get fresh and they can better focus on studies also.
I conclude it is very important for children to play as well as learn in primary school classroom because no one can only study continuously, every students need break from study so playing in school and have sports and other activties like project making, presentations will give a chance to grow students and proove their ability to do that activity and do more better improvements. Because only formal learning is difficuilt to perfrom.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses all parts of the two-part prompt. The writer presents a clear position regarding primary schools focusing too much on formal learning and discusses the importance of play alongside learning. Ideas are extended with some supporting explanations, such as mentioning teamwork, managing wins and losses, and developing productivity. However, some arguments tend to be repetitive and lack specific, concrete examples from personal experience or wider knowledge. For instance, statements like 'by doing formal learning students become serious in their academics' are somewhat generalized and under-developed. Nevertheless, the main task requirements are met, demonstrating a solid understanding of the prompt. This performance aligns well with the requirements for a Band 6.0.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement and follows a recognizable essay structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used, though paragraph boundaries and transitions could be handled more smoothly. Cohesive devices are sometimes mechanical or faulty, such as 'On the contrast' instead of 'In contrast', and run-on sentence structures like '...so for getting employments in future taking education is crucial, so...' affect the overall flow. Reference pronouns are occasionally unclear, requiring the reader to work harder to follow the progression of ideas. Logical organization is present throughout, supporting a Band 6.0 level of coherence and cohesion.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'extra-curricular activities', 'team management', and 'coordination'. However, there are noticeable word-choice, collocation, and word-formation errors throughout the text, such as 'modernized facilitiy' instead of 'modern facilities', 'get enhance' instead of 'be enhanced', 'minds not freshen' instead of 'their minds are not refreshed', and 'difficuilt to perfrom'. Spelling errors like 'difficuilt' also occur. While communication is not severely impeded, these repeated inaccuracies prevent the lexical score from reaching the higher bands, placing this response firmly at Band 5.5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but many sentences are overly long, run-on, and grammatically flawed. For example, the opening sentence contains multiple clauses joined loosely by conjunctions without appropriate punctuation. There are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('every students need'), awkward phrasing ('school giving high focus'), and incorrect verb forms ('might be get bored'). Punctuation is weak, particularly with comma splices. Although some error-free simple structures exist, the high density of structural errors and lack of consistent control over complex forms restricts the score to Band 5.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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