Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

i partly agree with opinion because although formal studies is important for thier academic results , play is eaqually important for their physical ,social and emotional development.

The formal learning is important for their development of academic carier .primary schools focus on formal studies because science ,math and coputer are alspo essential for thier development of mind these studies make them to perform better in the secondary school .For example , if the primary schools are not focusing omn the academics subjects students are not good in thier studies in future because the core of students are developed in their primary schools then they will be able of doing well in their future studies .

on the second hand the primary schools also pay attention on cocurriculor activities and play because both sector formal and informal are important for the development of students For example formal studies enhanes the acadmic score and play enhances the body and mind of the students so both are impotant for the student .

In this time of competition some people wants thier childerns are always be good in studies and this race leads this issue to only focus on their formal studies beacause parents wants their childerns always take first position intheir studies so this type of behaviour of parents give courage to schools to only focus on their formal studies.

therefore , the both aspects are important for the development of primary schools students they have to work on both sides for their successful future and parents are also encourages both sides for the betterment of their childrens.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, acknowledging the debate around formal learning in primary schools and discussing the importance of play. The writer takes a clear position in the introduction stating that 'play is eaqually important for their physical, social and emotional development.' However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth, relying on general assertions rather than fully elaborated examples. For instance, the discussion of parental pressure in the fourth paragraph touches on a relevant point regarding competitive pressures, but the argument remains slightly underdeveloped. Overall, the response meets the criteria for Band 5.5 to 6.0, as it addresses the task adequately with relevant ideas, though some parts are repetitive and lack extended support.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay demonstrates a basic overall progression, with an introduction, supporting body paragraphs, and a brief conclusion. However, paragraphing and cohesive devices are handled awkwardly. There are no clear linking phrases to signal transitions between paragraphs, with the second body paragraph awkwardly introduced as 'on the second hand' instead of 'on the other hand'. Furthermore, referencing is sometimes unclear, and punctuation errors disrupt the flow of sentences, such as missing capital letters and erratic spacing around punctuation marks. While the essay maintains a coherent overall arrangement, the mechanical and faulty use of cohesive devices places this criterion firmly at Band 5.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is relatively basic and repetitive, with frequent misspellings such as 'thier', 'eaqually', 'carier', 'coputer', 'omn', 'cocurriculor', 'enhanes', 'acadmic', 'impotant', 'childerns', 'encourages', and 'beacause'. The writer attempts some less common terms like 'cocurriculor activities' and 'competitive', but lexical control is weak due to persistent spelling mistakes and awkward word choices. There is a lack of precision, and the range is limited to minimally adequate for addressing the topic. Consequently, the lexical resource demonstrates characteristics of a Band 5.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but grammatical accuracy is very low. There are persistent errors in subject-verb agreement ('formal studies is important', 'students are not good'), missing articles ('in future', 'in secondary school'), and incorrect preposition usage ('pay attention on'). Punctuation is also poorly handled, with spaces before commas and periods, and a lack of capitalization at the beginning of sentences. Although the meaning can mostly be understood despite the high frequency of errors, the sheer volume of basic grammatical and mechanical mistakes prevents the text from achieving a higher band, resulting in a score of 5.0.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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