Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Now a days schools were focus more in study rather then in other activities. School and child's parents were believe that if child learns more then, he or she will shine in future. But this is completly meath because child should focus in spots and in outdoor activity.They also get admission in other ecademy for their grate performance. In addition, only study is not necessary. They have potencial in their mind and their mind should be develop proper to take their own choises.

In my view, school and other tutions were gave flexible learning to student because in strict environment they feel axhosted. Fun and relexing technics were become easy to remember for them.Sterss free learning is the best and exidited also. Furthemor, we should provide this type of things to student.

If a student is from primary section then their age is not that much and in this age they play with toys and with other stuffs. But instant of toys they have to hendle with books. This thing become so frustrested. So, primary schools have to set up for kids and they have provide facility to kids for enjoyful learning.They create a colorful and decorated classroom for kids because they like colorful items.

In conclution, students parentes and their teacher also knew that if they want their child or their student to become outstending persnality then they give them freedom for learing. In pressred environment child could'n do any thing. So this is best to inrtuduce flexible leaning resources.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, expressing an opinion on formal learning and discussing the importance of play in primary schools. However, the development of ideas is limited and somewhat repetitive. Phrases like "child should focus in spots and in outdoor activity" and "only study is not necessary" present relevant ideas, but they lack depth and specific supporting examples from personal experience or wider knowledge. The position is stated, but the arguments are not fully extended. Therefore, this performance fits the Band 5 descriptor well, where ideas are limited and under-developed, and the response touches upon all parts of the task only partially.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The text is divided into four paragraphs, which shows an attempt at basic organisation. However, the logical progression is frequently disrupted by awkward transitions and confusing sentence connections, such as beginning the second paragraph with "In my view, school and other tutions were gave flexible learning..." and the third paragraph with "If a student is from primary section then their age is not that much...". Cohesive devices are either missing or used inaccurately. Referencing is sometimes unclear, for example, pronouns like "they" frequently shift referents between children, schools, and parents. This reflects Band 4 to Band 5 characteristics, leaning toward Band 4 due to the frequent lack of coherent progression between sentences.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is basic and heavily restricted, with frequent spelling and word-choice errors that strain the reader. Examples include "Now a days" (Nowadays), "meath" (myth), "spots" (sports), "ecademy" (academy), "potencial" (potential), "axhosted" (exhausted), "relexing technics" (relaxing techniques), "exidited" (excited), "instant" (instead), "hendle" (handle), "frustrested" (frustrated), "enjoyful" (enjoyable), "outstending persnality" (outstanding personality), and "pressred" (pressured). While the writer attempts to use less common vocabulary, the high density of lexical errors impedes clear communication at times, placing the response firmly in the Band 4 category.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

Grammatical control is weak throughout the essay, demonstrating a very limited range of structures. The majority of sentences contain major errors in tense, subject-verb agreement, and clause structure. Examples include "schools were focus more in study rather then in other activities", "child's parents were believe", "their mind should be develop proper", and "child could'n do any thing". Complex sentences are attempted, but they are almost always faulty and obscure the intended meaning. Punctuation is also erratic. These persistent, frequent errors that cause significant difficulty for the reader align closely with the Band 4 descriptors.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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