Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The consumption of vitamin pills has increased in recent years rather than working on food diet. This trend is mainly because it is widely available in the market although some of the medicines are indeed expensive. However, I believe that consumers can reduce consuming pills by knowing the potential side-effects and taking personal guidance from nutritionists.

The most significant point is that, production of medications. Compared to the past, the advancement in the medical field has enhanced the way of discovering sources of getting vitamin easier than ever. As a result, instead of spending time in the kitchen preparing food; people prefer to buy vitamin pills from a nearby drug store. Additionally, taking Omega-3 supplement can be a viable alternative for the people who do not consume fish or seafood. Moreover, it also contains other essential nutrients like protein and minerals. Thus, people are influenced more towards spending money on supplements.

There are various ways to stay healthy by consuming green vegetables and plant-based products. For instance, for those who can eat seafood, adding flaxseeds, chia seeds, Mustard oil and soybean oil can be beneficial. Furthermore, having control over a diet is most important in the process of being healthy. Thus, reducing consumption of sweets desserts and oily food is essential. Finally, considering a professional nutritionist can be a huge help as they tend to create personal diet plans for people taking their various medical tests.

In conclusion, using vitamin pills to some extend is necessary for some people based on their diet but, finding a better and safer way before spending a large amount of money is more reliable. By consuming plant-based food and supplements that are available in the market.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 3.0

The student has written an essay that addresses the general topic of health and diet, but it completely misses the prompt's specific focus on primary school education, formal learning, and the importance of play versus learning in the classroom. The provided text discusses vitamin pills, diet, and nutritionists, which indicates that the writer has responded to a completely different writing prompt about health supplements rather than the given task regarding primary schools. According to the band descriptors, when a response is largely off-topic, the score for task achievement must reflect this major shortfall. Consequently, the task achievement score is severely impacted.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

Despite the severe off-topic content regarding the prompt, the text itself displays a logical internal structure with paragraphs addressing distinct points. The writer uses cohesive devices such as 'Additionally', 'Moreover', 'For instance', and 'In conclusion' to signal transitions between ideas. Paragraphing is attempted with distinct breaks between the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, referencing is sometimes unclear, and the mechanical overuse or slight misuse of some transitions detracts from fluent progression. Overall arrangement is somewhat coherent at the sentence level, fitting the band 5 descriptor.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The student demonstrates a limited but minimally adequate range of vocabulary for discussing health and nutrition topics. Words and phrases such as 'advancement in the medical field', 'viable alternative', and 'professional nutritionist' are used appropriately. However, there are noticeable lexical errors and awkward collocations throughout the text, such as 'working on food diet' instead of 'improving their diet', 'widely available' referring to the trend rather than the pills themselves, and 'sweets desserts'. These errors cause occasional difficulty for the reader, aligning the response with band 5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The writing exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as conditional or relative clauses ('people who do not consume fish'). However, there are frequent grammatical errors and awkward phrasings, including subject-verb agreement issues ('production of medications... has enhanced', 'vitamin pills to some extend') and incorrect prepositions ('taking personal guidance', 'influenced more towards'). Punctuation is also faulty in places, such as the incomplete final sentence fragment. These errors frequently impede smooth reading and represent a typical band 5 grammatical profile.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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