Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The consumption of vitamin pills has increased in recent years instead of improving their diet. This trend is mainly because they are widely available in the market although some of the medicines are indeed expensive. However, I believe that consumers can reduce pills by knowing the potential side effects and taking personalized guidance from nutritionists.

The most significant point is that, production of medications. Compared to the past, the advancement in the medical field has enhanced the way of discovering sources of getting vitamins are easier than ever. As a result, instead of spending time in the kitchen preparing food, people prefer to buy vitamin pills from a nearby drugstore. Additionally, taking an Omega-3 supplement can be a viable alternative for the people who do not consume fish or seafood. Moreover, they also contains other essential nutrients like protein and minerals. Thus, people are influenced towards spending more money on supplements.

There are various ways to stay healthy by consuming green vegetables and plant-based products. For instance, for those who can eat seafood, adding flaxseeds, chia seeds, mustard oil and soybean oil can be beneficial. Furthermore, having control over a diet is most important in the process of being healthy. Thus, reducing consumption of sweets and oily food is essential. Finally, consulting a professional nutritionist can be a huge help as they tend to create personalized diet plans for people after their various medical tests.

In conclusion, using vitamin pills to some extent is necessary for some people based on their diet, finding a better and safer way before spending a large amount of money is more reliable. By consuming plant-based food and supplements that are available in the market.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 2.0

The response completely fails to address the prompt provided. The writing task prompt asks about whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning, the extent of the writer's agreement, and the importance of play in the primary school classroom. However, the student has written an essay entirely about the consumption of vitamin pills versus a healthy diet, which is a completely different topic (likely a confusion with a health-related task 2 prompt). Because the response is entirely off-topic and fails to address any part of the actual task questions, it cannot achieve a passing score for Task Achievement. Consequently, it must be awarded a band 1.0 or 2.0. In this case, a band 2.0 reflects that the response is largely incomprehensible in relation to the prompt, only touching upon general health concepts without addressing formal education or play in schools.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

Despite being completely off-topic for the prompt, the text itself exhibits a basic structure with clear paragraphing, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The student attempts to use cohesive devices such as 'However', 'Additionally', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion'. However, logical progression is flawed because the arguments do not connect well to a central thesis, and referencing is sometimes confusing, such as in the phrase 'the consumption of vitamin pills has increased in recent years instead of improving their diet' where pronouns and referents do not align properly. Paragraphing is present, but the overall organization struggles due to the irrelevant content. These factors place the cohesion and coherence within the band 5.0 range, as there is some organization and paragraphing, but overall progression is hindered.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used throughout the essay is reasonably varied for general topics, featuring terms such as 'consumption', 'personalized guidance', 'pharmaceutical', 'viable alternative', and 'nutritionist'. However, there are noticeable lexical inaccuracies and awkward collocations. For example, the opening sentence states that the consumption of pills has increased 'instead of improving their diet', which is semantically incorrect since pills do not improve diets. Another error occurs with 'they also contains', demonstrating a lack of subject-verb agreement with vocabulary-adjacent elements. Despite these errors, the range is minimally adequate to convey basic ideas about health and diet. This performance aligns with band 5.0, where the vocabulary is adequate for simple communication but contains noticeable errors and awkward phrasing that cause some difficulty for the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including relative clauses and conditional-style phrases like 'for the people who do not consume fish'. However, control over grammar and accuracy is weak. There are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('they also contains') and dangling modifiers or faulty syntax in sentences like 'the most significant point is that, production of medications' where the clause is incomplete and grammatically broken. Complex structures are often clumsy or inaccurate. Because errors are frequent and occasionally impede the flow of reading, this falls squarely into the band 5.0 category, representing a limited range of structures where attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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