Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

For well known, primary school is first offcially step at children education, but recently education can not describe as education instead of call formal learning. Losing happinese in students and parcitse entire day is it really means study? The educational only excist with black board and write paper? The answer of the two question defiently no.

There are many genius and famous legendary people we can learn in our study books, none of them are trap in the "balck and white. Some might argue it, historial famous people not living in nowadays. I think if they study in morden education school, no more genius will excisten anymore.

How to dealing with formal learning at today, is to find out why people argue about specifily, such as reverse class can be useful. Change identity between teacher and student, find the middle range student or most welcomed one to leading whole class, it can be hold once a month. In this way, student can play a role-time cosplay as teacher, and teacher can learn how to improve future teaching as well. Otherwise, like chemistry and physics subject, which contain many theories and experiments, this can use material for educate. Students can learn by doing, teseting, thinking in differ ways, in the meanwhile, choose one or two student to describe how they real feel and what they been motivate.

Study should not been stuck by one way, we need more flexible way to learn, because play not just for entertamaint, is as important as learing than study in 'black and white'.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The student attempts to address both parts of the prompt regarding formal learning in primary schools and the importance of play. However, the response falls into the Band 4 category because the ideas are underdeveloped, heavily muddled, and difficult to follow due to severe language breakdowns. Phrases like 'educatinal only excist with black board and write paper' show an attempt to present a position, but the arguments are largely tangential or unclear. The development of ideas lacks logical progression and clarity, making it hard for the reader to fully grasp the writer's stance. While the prompt is acknowledged, the execution does not reach the standard of Band 5, as the core message is obscured by expression issues.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The overall organisation of the essay is weak, placing it firmly at Band 4. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal cohesion of each paragraph is heavily compromised by erratic sentence structures and a lack of clear cohesive devices. Transitions between ideas are abrupt and confusing, such as jumping from famous historical figures directly to classroom management strategies ('How to dealing with formal learning at today...'). Referencing is frequently unclear ('this can use material for educate'), and the logical progression expected from a coherent essay is missing. The relationship between sentences is often obscure, forcing the reader to guess the intended flow of thought.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is extremely basic, repetitive, and plagued by severe word-form and spelling errors. Examples include 'offcially' instead of official, 'happinese' instead of happiness, 'parcitse' instead of practice, and 'excisten' instead of exist. The student attempts some less common vocabulary, such as 'cosplay' or 'morden education', but these are used inaccurately or inappropriately in an academic context. The lexical range is severely limited, and errors in word choice and spelling constantly strain the reader and impede understanding, matching the Band 4 descriptor where vocabulary limitations severely restrict communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

Grammar and sentence structure represent a major weakness in this response. The text is dominated by severe grammatical errors, missing verbs, incorrect word classes, and broken syntax, such as in 'Education only excist with black board and write paper' and 'Study should not been stuck by one way'. Complex sentence structures are attempted but are almost always faulty, resulting in a high density of errors that frequently distort meaning. There is a lack of control over basic subject-verb agreement and tense consistency. Consequently, this performance aligns closely with Band 4 descriptors, where errors are frequent and frequently impede meaning.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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