Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It's important for children for to focus on both play and learning as it has direct impact on their health. In primary schools, play is as important as the formal learning.

In our daily life, all the students spends almost all the time on their studies. They even don't have to spend to other things to thinks. Primary school should provide the play time to student as it increase their mental health. The health is important part of every student. If they don't spend time on play, they become physically and mentally weak. The several type of mental diseases like depression and headache may effect their health. The rise in the health issue in children is because of their studies.

In modern era, children face stress in studies as their parent force them to only focus on their studies not in play time. They only focus on the career on the children. Sometime children faces numeruos of shout by their guardians as they sneak to play. This will not only cause physical weakness in children but also mental disorder. To overcome this, the primary school are the only way for children to do both play and study. Primary schools are the begining of every child life. If they were teached the importance of play and study from very begining of their life, this help them in future.

Primary school muct spend almost one period on play everyday to help child grow in both ways. If they don't, the modern children help remains in danger as the level of technology changes.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, discussing the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and explaining the importance of play in primary schools. However, the development of ideas is limited and repetitive. For instance, the writer mentions that lack of play causes mental diseases like depression and headaches, but these claims are overgeneralized and under-developed. While a clear stance is presented that play is just as important as formal learning, the supporting arguments rely heavily on repetitive statements about stress and health rather than deep, varied examples. According to the band descriptors, the response meets the criteria for Band 5, as it addresses the task and presents a position, but the ideas remain somewhat limited and repetitive throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into short paragraphs, but the overall progression of ideas lacks clear structure and logical flow. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately at times, such as the abrupt transitions between sentences in the second body paragraph ('The health is important part of every student. If they don't spend time on play...'). Referencing is occasionally unclear, and paragraphing is underdeveloped since the body paragraphs lump multiple distinct thoughts together without smooth signposting. While there is an attempt to organise ideas around the themes of health and parental pressure, the overall arrangement is frequently faulty and repetitive, aligning best with Band 5 descriptors.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is generally basic and repetitive, relying frequently on words like 'play', 'study', 'health', and 'children'. There are notable word choice and collocation errors, such as 'spend to other things to thinks', 'numeruos of shout', and 'modern children help remains in danger'. Attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'mental disorder' and 'technological changes', are marred by inaccuracies and spelling mistakes like 'begining' and 'muct'. Because the lexical range is limited and noticeable errors occasionally cause difficulty or confusion for the reader, this performance corresponds to a Band 5 score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as conditional structures ('If they don't spend time on play, they become physically and mentally weak'). However, complex sentences are frequently faulty, containing persistent grammatical errors in subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and article usage (e.g., 'all the students spends', 'the health is important part', 'they were teached'). Punctuation is also erratic in places. Because errors are frequent throughout the text and sometimes strain the reader's understanding, the grammatical control reflects Band 5 descriptors.

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