Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some primary school substantially are focusing on formal education too much but that may not be the best way to upbring a child since it is very important for children to indulge in playful activites for maximum growth and have a healthy lifestyle . during primary education a child is setting up a baseline for his formal studies so it is important to focus on learning .in this essay i will be sharing my thoughts on why focusing too much on formal education may not be the best way to approach a childs growth phase.

during an early cycle of a life it is important to not put much stress on a childs brain by putting them in a serious enviroment where they need to constantly focus on a specific task, because there is a possiblity that it can put a negative impact on a kids growth and mood aswell. instead they should be involved in physical activities at a very early stage of their so that they grow strong and healthy by developing a good metabolism too. for example it is a well known fact that a child who has been active during his child tends to be more sharp minded and is physically and mentally strong aswell.

Furthermore some would argue that a childrens education need to be taken seriously from the start because the child will develop a strong base for learning and will have the ability to adapt to new and difficult learning which will be beneficial and lead to various advantages . for example ,compared to other students that child will be step ahead in studies and most likely will be more intelligent and may even develop a higher iq aswell.

It is important for a child to focus in formal education during primary school but i believe that gap can always be fulfilled later on during secondary school and we must not risk a childs mental health and growth by putting it in a stressfull enviroment early on.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, discussing the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and explaining the importance of play in the primary school classroom. The writer takes a clear position that too much formal learning can be detrimental, supporting this view with arguments about mental health, stress, and physical development. However, the development of ideas remains somewhat general and lacks specific, well-elaborated examples. For instance, the mention that an active child tends to be 'more sharp minded' is not fully substantiated with concrete context. Overall, the response meets the criteria for Band 6 because it addresses all parts of the prompt with relevant ideas, though some areas require deeper extension and more thorough illustration to reach higher bands.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear stance established in the introduction and maintained throughout the body paragraphs. Paragraphing is utilised to separate distinct arguments, such as the disadvantages of early formal learning versus the perceived advantages. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. There is a frequent lack of punctuation, particularly capitalisation at the beginning of sentences and proper nouns or pronouns (e.g., 'during an early cycle...', 'in this essay i will...'), which disrupts the flow of the text. Furthermore, cohesive devices are occasionally repetitive or basic, and referencing between ideas can be slightly abrupt. These features place the response firmly at Band 6, where logical progression is visible but cohesive management requires greater flexibility and accuracy.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating terms such as 'formal education', 'metabolism', 'adapt', and 'mental health'. There are, however, noticeable word choice and collocation errors, such as 'upbring a child' instead of 'bring up a child' or 'upbringing', and 'childs growth phase' where apostrophes are systematically missing. Additionally, phrases like 'step ahead in studies' show an attempt at less common phrasing with minor inaccuracies. Spelling errors are generally absent, but punctuation related to possessives and capitalization detracts from lexical precision. The vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey the message, fitting the Band 6 descriptor where an adequate range is used with some inaccuracy and occasional strain on the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing conjunctions like 'because', 'although', and 'furthermore' to connect clauses. However, grammatical accuracy is compromised by a complete lack of punctuation and capitalization throughout the entire response. Sentences often run on without proper terminal punctuation or separation, creating heavy reliance on lowercase letters at the start of sentences and names. While basic subject-verb agreement is mostly maintained, the frequent absence of apostrophes for possession (e.g., 'childs brain', 'a kids growth') and structural run-on tendencies lead to frequent errors. Despite these issues, the meaning remains mostly clear to the reader, aligning with the Band 6 descriptor where a mix of structures is present alongside errors that rarely impede overall communication.

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