Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Education is the third eye of the individuals. It is believed by some people that primary schools are focused on formal learning more than play games. I strongly disagree with these statement but with some extent for which vindication would be elaborated in the upcoming paragraps.

To begin with, the are numerous disagree points associated with it. The first and foremost is, fit . To explain it , physicals games are more important for students because games are helpful in become body fit.Additionally,games are not only body become healthy but also increase interest . As an example , according to past history , the milkha singh (the flying sikh ) was more focus on the running than study since his childhood then his become a famous and popular runner in the india .

Moving further, the physical games are very benificial for childrens because kids become active and competitive when they play sports. sports are also helpful to increase the growth of juveniles . Therefore, sports are more important for learners.

On the other hand, there are many agree points of more focus on formal learning. One of the prominent is , smart . To elaborate it, when childen are more focus on their study then their brain are more sharp . Furthermore, education is more important for becoming doctor and scientist. Education is increse the knowledge of individuals . Hence , formal education is more beneficial for students.

In the nutsheel, after taking all aspects in my consideration.I would like to emphasize that sports are more important for children such as helpful in body fit , healthy,increase interest and increase growth of individuals ,but do not forfet the merits of formal education.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The student attempts to address both parts of the prompt, expressing a clear position regarding whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning and discussing the importance of play alongside study. However, the development of ideas is heavily constrained by limited language and undeveloped arguments. For instance, the reference to Milkha Singh is relevant but poorly integrated due to linguistic barriers, resulting in a somewhat fragmented exploration of the issues. While all parts of the task are touched upon, the ideas remain underdeveloped and overly simplistic, aligning best with a Band 5 descriptor where the response is only partially addressed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The essay is divided into paragraphs, showing a basic attempt at overall organisation with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is frequently disrupted by awkward transitions and mechanical cohesive devices like 'To begin with,' 'Moving further,' and 'On the other hand,' which are often misused or followed by disjointed sentences. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal paragraph cohesion is weak. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the mechanical nature of the linking words places the response firmly within the Band 4 to Band 5 range, meriting a Band 4.5 or 5.0. Given the basic structure, a score of 4.5 is appropriate.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is very basic, repetitive, and heavily restricted. The student relies on elementary terms such as 'good,' 'important,' 'body fit,' and 'study.' There are numerous word-choice and collocation errors throughout the response, such as 'disagree points,' 'physicals games,' and 'increse the knowledge.' These errors and the limited range strain the reader's understanding at times and clearly reflect the Band 4 descriptor, where basic and repetitive vocabulary severely limits the precision and flow of the writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

Grammatical control is weak throughout the essay, with a very limited range of structures. Simple sentences dominate, and attempts at complex structures (such as 'I strongly disagree with these statement but with some extent for which vindication would be elaborated in the upcoming paragraps') are heavily flawed and ungrammatical. Errors in articles, subject-verb agreement, tenses, and word forms (e.g., 'these statement,' 'milkha singh was more focus,' 'childrens') are extremely frequent and often obscure the intended meaning, matching the criteria for Band 4.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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