Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-16
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Some people believe that primary schools are either more focused on formal learning.
Nowadays, some people argued that primary schools focus too much on formal learning and i agree with this because formal learning is the basic key for primary school it help the childrens to gain the knowldge and improve their skills. For example, childrens should learn the basic format of subjects such as mathematic, science and english and improve their writing reading skills.
In additionally, childrens have other opportunities to learn and play at school, while playing at school it can help them to improve there abilities and they become more active, furthermore they can learn the other moral habits such as sharing, coorperating and behaviour too. For instance, childrens enjoy the gaming activies such as phonomic words, rhyming words and maths cue boxes.
In conclusion, i completely agree with arguetment that primary schools are more focused on formal learning format because is an essential thing for childrens to learn with basic activies as well as it improves the mindset of the childrens moreover they should develop their physical and social activities too.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5
The response attempts to address both parts of the prompt regarding formal learning and the importance of play in primary school. However, it falls significantly short of the word count requirement, containing only 185 words compared to the minimum of 250 words. This severe under-length limitation directly prevents the student from fully developing their ideas and extending their arguments. While a position is stated, the arguments remain underdeveloped and brief, such as simply mentioning subjects like 'mathematic, science and english' without further elaboration. Because of the length penalty and lack of full idea development, the response cannot achieve a higher band score under the official descriptors.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, which shows some basic organisational structure. However, the overall progression is weak due to the brevity of the response and repetitive phrasing. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as starting a sentence with 'In additionally,' and 'while playing at school it can help them,' which creates redundancy and awkward referencing. Paragraphing is attempted, but the links between ideas within and across paragraphs lack smooth transitions. The overall logical flow is disrupted by frequent mechanical errors in cohesion, placing it firmly in the lower-middle bands.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is generally basic and repetitive, with frequent spelling and word-choice errors. Examples of incorrect lexical choices and non-standard forms include 'knowldge' for knowledge, 'mathematic' for mathematics, 'coorperating' for cooperating, and 'phonomic' for phonic. The student attempts some less common vocabulary such as 'fundamental' or subject-related terms, but spelling inaccuracies and incorrect forms impede smooth reading. The range of vocabulary is limited and minimally adequate for conveying very simple ideas, resulting in a low score for lexical resource.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The grammatical range is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences or faulty complex structures. There are numerous grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues like 'formal learning is the basic key... it help the childrens' and 'childrens have'. Pluralization errors are also prevalent, such as 'childrens' instead of children. Punctuation and capitalization are frequently neglected, particularly with lowercase letters used for the pronoun 'i' and at the start of clauses following run-on structures. These persistent errors frequently cause difficulty for the reader and demonstrate weak control over basic grammar.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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