Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people argue that primary school plays too much emphasis on formal education, while children should also have enough opportunities to play. I largely agree with this view beacause academic learning is important, but is equally valuable for child's overall development.

There are several reasons why excessive formal education can be unsuitable for young children. At the primary level students are still developing their ability to concentrate and understand the world around them. spending their schools days for studying and in textbooks, tests and written exercises may make learning more stressful and eventually they loose their intrest in the subjects. For instance, children who has to complete all the assignments and fullfill school hours and study hours might get frustrated and end up in overthinking.

On the other side, playing is extremely significant in primary schools. Physical games helps children develop their concentration, fitness, and motor skills also rejuvunates their mind and they can see the improvement in their studies as well. For example, many schools organizes sports events to encourage their students to keep themselves refreshed also sports can teach them success and failure or win or lose. This mindset is not developed in formal education system.

However, this does not mean that formal education is not significantly important there should be proper balance between both of the parts, formal education and playing or fun time. Things like solving mathematics, science are as equal as the playing part. schools should design the whole structure according to balanced learning like include some sports periods or any music learning seasons.

I agree that primary schools sometimes focus too much on formal education and less giving less importance towards playing or sports. However, there should be time for children to study as well as playing and attending sports competitions. The balanced approach should be promoted.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the two-part prompt: it discusses the extent of agreement regarding formal learning in primary schools and evaluates the importance of play. The student takes a clear position, stating that formal learning is necessary but must be balanced with play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive, particularly in the body paragraphs and the conclusion, which restates the main points without introducing much new extension. Examples provided, such as sports events and music learning seasons, are relevant but lack deeper elaboration. According to the band descriptors, this performance aligns closely with a Band 6, as all parts of the task are addressed, though some ideas remain under-developed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear paragraph structure. Each paragraph has a distinct focus, starting with an introduction, moving to the drawbacks of excessive formal learning, the benefits of play, the need for balance, and a concluding summary. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the other side,' 'However,' and 'For instance,' though some transitions feel a bit mechanical or are grammatically flawed (e.g., 'beacause', 'On the other side'). Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate ideas. Referencing is generally clear, but occasional clunky transitions prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Overall, the organizational structure satisfies the requirements of a Band 6.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'excessive formal education', 'motor skills', and 'rejuvenates'. However, there are notable spelling errors ('beacause', 'loose', 'intrest', 'rejuvunates', 'organises') and inaccuracies in word choice and collocation (e.g., 'plays too much emphasis' instead of 'places', 'music learning seasons' instead of 'lessons', and 'as equal as' instead of 'as important as'). While these errors do not impede overall communication, they restrict the lexical score to a Band 5.5, bridging Band 5 and Band 6 descriptors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over sentence structure. However, grammatical inaccuracies are frequent throughout the text. Examples of errors include subject-verb agreement issues ('Physical games helps', 'children who has to complete'), missing prepositions or articles, and punctuation flaws. For instance, the sentence 'spending their schools days for studying and in textbooks, tests and written exercises may make learning more stressful' contains prepositional and structural awkwardness. While communication is rarely impeded entirely, the frequency of errors prevents the score from reaching Band 6, placing it firmly at Band 5.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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