Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is argued that first-level schools are focusing only on academic learning without allowing school children to pay in the classroom. This essay will strongly disagree with the argument because if puplis should not be allowed to enjoy themselves, it may overwhelm them which will affect their progress. lesiure time is curcial to increase the productivity of primary school students.

To begin with, students are introduced with the complex science problems at primary institutions, and allowing them to enjoy can help to escape from learning abstract concepts ,giving a short moment to relax. When students take break and engage with different playful activities, their mind shifts from solving difficult problem to enjoy for a few moments. This leads to continue their learning with a relaxed mind. For example, in pakistan, students are focused only on studies and often get overwhelmed, which eventually leads to low process.

In addition, in order to increase the productivity, schools must encourage students to enjoy after 2-3 consective lectures. Learning new subjects or concepts are difficult, and brain often struggles with new things, however, a break can more likely to make things a bit easy. If students are given a chance to play after learning something complex, they will increase the productivity because mind can learn easily when it gets relaxed.

In conclusion, focusing only on study can create hurdles in learning new concepts.Students can low productivity and becomming overwhelmed. Due to this reason, I strongly believe that primary schools should allow children to play while in the classroom.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: it clearly states a position disagreeing with the idea that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and it discusses the importance of play alongside learning. The position is maintained throughout the essay. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. For example, the writer argues that play helps students escape abstract concepts, which is supported by a brief example regarding Pakistani students, but the argument relies heavily on the single concept of productivity and breaks reducing overwhelm. While all parts are addressed, the support remains somewhat general and lacks deeper extension, which aligns well with a Band 6.0 descriptor where relevant ideas are presented but slightly under-developed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, establishing an overall progression of thought. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'In addition', and 'In conclusion' are used to structure the text, though referencing and linking can occasionally feel mechanical. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct points regarding relief from abstract concepts and boosting productivity through breaks. However, there are minor issues with referencing clarity and cohesion within sentences, such as in the opening sentence where 'pay' appears to be a typo for 'play'. Overall, the logical structure and clear organization satisfy the requirements for a Band 6.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student displays an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'overwhelmed', 'productivity', 'abstract concepts', and 'consecutive'. However, there are notable spelling and word-choice errors throughout the text, including 'first-level schools' instead of primary schools, 'puplis', 'lesiure', 'curcial', 'pakistan' (uncapitalized), 'process' instead of progress, 'becomming', and 'study' used where 'studies' or 'studying' is more appropriate. These errors do not seriously impede communication, but their frequency prevents the score from reaching higher bands. This performance fits comfortably within the Band 5.5 to 6.0 range, warranting a 6.0 for a sufficient adequate range despite lexical inaccuracies.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over complex structures, such as in the second sentence: 'This essay will strongly disagree with the argument because if puplis should not be allowed to enjoy themselves, it may overwhelm them which will affect their progress.' However, grammatical errors are frequent throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues, tense inconsistencies, and preposition errors, such as 'students are introduced with the complex science problems', 'difficult problem to enjoy', and 'learning new subjects or concepts are difficult'. Punctuation errors and missing commas also occur. Because these errors persist and occur frequently alongside complex structures, the writing aligns best with Band 5.5.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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