Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some individual says that elementary schools focus majorly on academic learning. I do not agree with this attestation because the curriculum of basic schools has improved dramatically these past few years to accommodate extracurricular activities. It is essential for to have leisure times while they learn in school, this helps build the cognition of the child and makes them active.

Basic schools play a major role in the development of pupil and the type of school a chid attends influences how the trajectory of their lives would be. There has been major restructuring of schools curriculum in the past years and this has accommodated different activities such as swimming, acting, and dancing clubs, away from the traditional mode that has always focus on academic with limited play or break times. Life isn’t all about books but about skills gained while learning. For instance, one of the richest blacks, Femi Otedola wrote in his book how he started entrepreneurship while in primary school, many kids would be like him who won't only gain educational but also in skills associated with learning. Learning should not be abstract but relational.

Furthermore, play is an essential part of learning. There's an adage that says 'All work no play makes jack a dull boy'. Pupils should have breaks in between lecture time, play builds the cognition and intellect of a child. it makes the child reason well and good. in addition, play makes the mind and brain active, there are games that brightens thd mind of kids for instance chess, word game and square games.

In conclusion, basic schools in our contemporary world do not only focus on formal learning. Many activities has been incorporated into school work that makes schooling experience beautiful and less stressful and more importantly leisure is an integral part of learning for children.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: expressing an opinion on whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and discussing the importance of play alongside learning. The writer takes a clear position disagreeing with the premise that schools focus too much on formal learning, pointing out that curricula have evolved to include extracurricular activities. Ideas are generally relevant, but the support tends to be somewhat anecdotal and under-developed, such as the mention of Femi Otedola, which lacks full elaboration in relation to the primary classroom. While the response covers all parts of the prompt, the depth of extension places it squarely within Band 6.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement and is divided into appropriate paragraphs. There is a logical flow from the introduction through body paragraphs discussing curriculum changes and the benefits of play, to a clear conclusion. However, cohesion is at times mechanical or faulty. For instance, transitional phrases like 'Furthermore' are used, but referencing and sentence connections occasionally falter, such as 'It is essential for to have leisure times' where a pronoun or noun is missing, disrupting the cohesive flow. Paragraphing is present, but internal cohesion requires better linking to reach higher bands.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'attestation', 'trajectory', 'entrepreneurship', and 'contemporary world'. However, there are notable word choice and collocation inaccuracies, such as 'Some individual says', 'basic schools' instead of primary schools, and 'square games'. There are also spelling slips like 'thd' instead of 'the'. These errors do not seriously impede communication, but they reflect the limitations typical of a Band 6 performance.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but control is inconsistent. There are several grammatical errors and punctuation slips throughout the text, including fragment or ungrammatical clauses ('It is essential for to have leisure times'), missing capitalization ('it makes the child', 'in addition'), and comma splices ('play makes the mind and brain active, there are games...'). Additionally, subject-verb agreement issues appear, such as 'Many activities has been incorporated'. These errors occur frequently enough to prevent the score from reaching Band 7, though meaning is rarely obscured.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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