Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Certain individuals argue that elementary schools focus more on conventional learning. I partly agree with this view, while formal learning is significant for academic performances and future career, students need to learn extracurricular activities because it is important for children's social development.

Admittedly, structured-type of learning is important to prioritize by educational institutions for career developments in the future. It is a way to help children choose their fields or course when they enter in a university. For instance, if learners focus on academic performances they will receive a good grades which are helpful in career prospects and endeavors.

On the other hand, children also need to develop their socialization skills. By participating in out-of-school activities or in a sports they will enhance other important skills such as communication, problem-solving, critical thinking and social skills which are significant as they grow older. For instance, many children nowadays can do both, they are academically inclined as well as good at sports which allows them to participate in different regions or even internationally which also boost their confidence and meet other people.

I believe that parents and teachers should not hold their child's passion and interest when it comes to outdoor plays because it is vital for children's development. Some of them pursue or prioritize solely on sports like basketball or volleyball because it is the things that they want to do and that makes them happy and want to become a professional players in the long run. Although they still need a proper supervision to instill in their minds that academic or formal learning are also important in everyday lives and in the future.

In conclusion, although formal learning is crucial in choosing courses or professions in the future, I believe that a balance approach with co-corricular activities are crucial for child's overall development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses all parts of the two-part prompt. The student takes a clear, balanced position, agreeing partly with the premise that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, while also arguing that both formal education and play are crucial for development. Ideas are extended and supported with relevant examples, such as how academic performance aids future career choices and how sports and extracurricular activities foster communication and problem-solving skills. While the ideas are relevant, some of the supporting details, such as mentioning international sports competitions, slightly over-generalise typical primary school experiences, placing this squarely within the Band 7 descriptor.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay presents a clear logical organisation and progression throughout. Each paragraph has a distinct focus, moving from an introduction outlining the student's stance, to the benefits of formal learning, the importance of social skills and play, the role of parents and teachers, and a concise conclusion. Cohesive devices are used reasonably well to connect ideas, such as 'Admittedly', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion'. However, referencing and cohesion are occasionally slightly mechanical, and terms like 'co-corricular' reveal minor structural clumsiness. Overall, the arrangement is coherent and easy to follow, supporting a solid Band 6.5 or 7.0 score.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate to sufficient range of vocabulary for the task. Less common lexical items are attempted, such as 'extracurricular activities', 'socialization skills', 'social development', and 'professional players'. However, there are noticeable word-choice and collocation errors, as well as minor spelling slips (e.g., 'co-corricular' instead of 'co-curricular', 'a balance approach' instead of 'a balanced approach', and 'good grades' instead of 'good grades' needing agreement or singular/plural consistency). Despite these occasional inaccuracies, communication is never impeded, fitting the Band 6.0 profile well.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including conditional-style ideas ('if learners focus on academic performances they will receive a good grades') and relative clauses. However, there are frequent grammatical errors regarding articles, pluralisation, and prepositions (e.g., 'choose their fields or course when they enter in a university', 'a sports', 'a balanced approach with co-corricular activities are crucial'). Although these errors do not impede communication, they persist throughout the response and prevent the essay from reaching a higher band level.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.