Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

I completely agree with the sentence, "Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning".

This is because children should definitely play as well as learn in primary school classrooms bacause these activities make children to be active in all the situations and even in the hard times during their childhood.

Playing help children to make themselves phsically fit and mentally strong. While learning make their brains sharp and helps them to develop intellectual skills. combining both of these help children to grow into a good and brillian child. Too much focus on formal learning generate a lot of stress in the minds of the children.

I personally saw many children who were forced by their parents to learn and only study all the time, parents nowadays are in a mental state where they feel that pure education without sports are only the essential thing for a child. There are some primary school where the formal learning is done along with studying.

In conclusion, I would say that every child deserve a good childhood education which help them to succeed in future. Providing a good primary school which has both sports along with formal learning bacause these activities help young children to freely enjoy the school and complete his or her tasks on time with a lot of energy. Children will definitely be successful in their future if they were thought by a good mentor and along with good facilities. This helps children to lead a good and healthy life during their childhood.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: agreeing with the notion that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and discussing the importance of play alongside learning. A position is presented, but the development of ideas is limited and at times repetitive. For instance, the writer states that 'Playing help children to make themselves phsically fit and mentally strong' and mentions that formal learning generates stress, but these points are supported with general assertions rather than well-extended examples. The personal anecdote about parents and schools is vague. Furthermore, there is some confusion in the phrasing regarding whether schools balance learning and sports or overemphasize formal education. Overall, the response meets the basic requirements of the task, but the depth of idea extension aligns with Band 5.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into four paragraphs, showing a basic attempt at overall organisation, including an introduction and a conclusion. However, the logical progression is flawed. The transition between ideas is often abrupt, and referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the sentence 'There are some primary school where the formal learning is done along with studying,' which awkwardly repeats similar concepts without advancing the argument. Cohesive devices are basic and occasionally misused or absent, creating a choppy reading experience. Paragraphing is present, but internal cohesion within paragraphs lacks smooth flow. This level of organisation and cohesive control fits the Band 5 descriptors.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is adequate to convey the basic message, but the range is narrow and repetitive, relying on everyday words like 'children', 'learn', 'play', and 'good'. There are noticeable spelling and word-choice errors throughout the text, such as 'bacause' (because), 'phsically' (physically), and 'brillian' (brilliant). The student attempts some less common phrases like 'intellectual skills' and 'formal learning', but frequent errors in spelling and morphological forms (e.g., 'Playing help', 'make children to be active') restrict the lexical score. The errors do not completely impede communication, pointing solidly to a Band 5 level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as 'While learning make their brains sharp and helps them to develop intellectual skills.' However, grammatical accuracy is weak. There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Playing help', 'learning make', 'every child deserve'), incorrect verb complementation (e.g., 'make children to be active'), and awkward phrasing. Punctuation is basic, and sentence structures frequently contain awkward phrasing that causes some difficulty for the reader. Because simple structures contain errors and attempts at complex structures are frequently faulty, this performance earns a Band 5.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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