Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowdays, in this modern and growing era this is the most argued topic about the schooling of children. That means elementary schools spend an excessive amount of time on structured, traditional academics-such as lectures,rote memorization, textbooks, and standardized tests-rather than on play, creativity, and social development. In this i share the main key factors about formal learning and traditional study portfolio of schools.

To begin with, I personally belive that schools have to change the sllaybus of the studens as well as children because they grow the the modern era and move towards it and through this they will get exessive help to gain new and diverse kind of knowledge in their life and the schools have to do this from kinder garden level to high secondary. I dont support my goverment and schooling system in this because the future is rely on the students and through change and levelup the study pattern the children have to gain social development, and creativity. Many schools focus on extra activities not depend on their traditional pattern, the children have to know about sports, dance, swming,and other activity. The goverment study say that only 37% of schools have change the traditional study pattern and move up to extracurricular activities and 67% school rely on their old traditional programme.

On the other hand, to support this thing the parents and the youth have to file and appeal to goverment and parent write letter to schools by saying that to change the pattern and which thing is good for their child and add on some AI based programmes and masterclass.

It is justified to say that children have to know the traditional thing we libve in the growing era where children have to compete with the generation so the schools have to change their syllaybus and the pattern to study for better future of the nation and the county and the bright future of the growing being.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response attempts to address both parts of the prompt regarding whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning and the importance of play alongside study. However, the development of ideas is limited and somewhat confused by weak articulation. While the writer states a position against traditional heavy academics, the arguments blur into general statements about updating school syllabi and introducing extracurriculars and AI programmes. Statistics are invented without clear context, such as the claim that 'only 37% of schools have change the traditional study pattern'. The ideas remain under-developed and lack sustained logical extension, which places this performance solidly at Band 5.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The response shows some basic structural organisation with discernible introduction, body, and conclusion paragraphs, but the overall progression of ideas is frequently disrupted. Cohesive devices are either missing, mechanical, or awkwardly applied, such as 'To begin with', 'On the other hand, to support this thing', and 'It is justified to say that'. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal flow of sentences often lacks logical connectivity, causing the reader to struggle to follow the thread of argument. Referencing is unclear in places, particularly with pronouns like 'this thing' or 'which thing', leading to an overall score of Band 5.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with noticeable errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation throughout the text. Examples include 'Nowdays', 'sllaybus', 'studens', 'kinder garden', 'goverment', 'libve', and 'county'. While the writer attempts some topic-specific vocabulary such as 'extracurricular activities', 'rote memorization', and 'standardized tests', the frequency of spelling mistakes and awkward collocations strains the reader and restricts the lexical score to Band 4.5, rounded to Band 5 based on minimally adequate coverage.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The grammatical range is limited, relying heavily on basic sentence structures mixed with faulty attempts at complex sentences. There are frequent grammatical errors, incorrect verb forms, and punctuation issues that impede communication at times. For instance, 'the future is rely on the students' demonstrates poor verb structure, and run-on sentences like 'It is justified to say that children have to know the traditional thing we libve in the growing era where children have to compete with the generation so the schools have to change their syllaybus...' lack proper clause subordination and punctuation control, reflecting Band 4.5 performance rounded to Band 5.

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