Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Nowadays, many people argue that primary schools focus more on formal learning rather than offering a balanced experience allowing children to play and enjoy as well as start their educational journey. I agree that recently primary schools focus has shifted towards a more educational and formal purpose rather than a balance of education and leisure.

Starting formal education from primary school can help build students towards a more challenging and fruitful curriculum which enhances their critical thinking. However, it is absolutely crucial for children to have leisure activities and play in this chapter of their lives. Primary school period is where a lot of children's personalities develop and limiting them to strictly learning may result in improper development and lack of social skills. For instance, many children make freinds during leisure activites through talking, sharing interests and having fun. Moreover, games can help strengthen the bond between children and help children learn new things as many children are visual learners and it is easier to teach them in a playful manner rather than a formal setting. Additionally, if children are not placed in a playful environment to some extent they can lose crucial social skills and become isolated. For example, my primary school was noticeably strict and barely allowed for any leisure time. This resulted in many of my freinds becoming isolated and struggling to form freindships until adolescense.

I believe that a balance between the two methods offers the best outcome. Children cannot stay in a playful environment most of the time because it would result in the lack of necessary education that they need. On the other hand, not having or barely having any form of leisure activities can damage their social skills and result in social isolation and fear of contacting people.

In summary, while education is pivotal from primary school and can help elevate society and offer a better future, leisure and playing is as crucial as education in order to develop the proper and basic social skills. Having a balance between playing and education is crucial in order to build a strong, connected and intelligent society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response successfully addresses all parts of the two-part prompt. The writer clearly states an agreement with the opinion that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and thoroughly discusses both the importance of formal education and the crucial role that play and leisure hold in a child's development. Ideas are well-extended with relevant examples and explanations, such as the personal anecdote regarding primary school strictness and social isolation. The position remains clear and consistent throughout the entire essay, meeting the criteria for Band 7.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay displays a clear logical organisation and progression throughout. Each paragraph has a distinct central topic, moving from the introduction and stance, to the developmental benefits of play, to the necessity of balance, and concluding with a concise summary. Cohesive devices are used reasonably well to connect ideas, such as 'However', 'Moreover', and 'Additionally'. However, referencing and transitional phrases occasionally feel slightly repetitive or mechanical, preventing the text from reaching a higher band. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, resulting in a cohesive overall structure.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The student demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision, employing terms such as 'critical thinking', 'fruitful curriculum', 'visual learners', and 'social isolation'. There are some successful attempts at less common lexical items, but occasional spelling errors ('freinds' instead of 'friends', 'activites' instead of 'activities', 'adolescense' instead of 'adolescence') and minor word-choice inaccuracies prevent a higher score. Nonetheless, the vocabulary is adequate to convey the intended meaning clearly without impeding communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating control over relative clauses and conditional structures, such as 'if children are not placed in a playful environment to some extent they can lose crucial social skills'. There are several grammatical errors present, particularly with missing commas before conjunctions in long sentences and minor prepositional issues (e.g., 'focus more on formal learning rather than offering' can be structurally awkward). However, these errors do not impede communication, and there are frequent error-free sentences, justifying a solid Band 6.5.

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