Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Few individuals argue that primary schools focal point too much on formal learning.I partly agree that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.some people believe that primary schools place excessive emphasis on academic education. I partly agree with this view because formal learning is essential for cghildtrens development , but play is equaly important for their social, emotional and phsical growth.

On the hand, there are several reasons why excessive formallearning can be unsuitable for young children.Firstly primary school students have relatively short attention spans, and spending many hours listening to teachers or compeleting written excerises can make them bored and less motivated rto learn. Secondly , academicsubjects alone do not provide enough opportunities for children to develop important life skills. For example, activities involving teamworkcan teach children how to communicate , cooperate and solve problems with others. these skills are valuable not only at school but also in their future personal and professional lives.

For inatances , teachers can use mathematical games to improve childrens ability to calculate or language games to increase their vocabulary . In addition, physicaly play is beneficial for childrens health because it encourages them to be active and can improve their coordination. Creative activities such as drawing , building and role playing can also stimulate imagination and independent thinking.

However, this does not mean that formal learning should be removed from primary schools. Children need to develop basic skills in reading, writing and mathematics because these provide the foundation for their future education. The most effective approach is likey to combine structured academic lessons with suitable periods of play and pratical activities.

In the conckusions , i agree that primary schools can sometimes place too much emphasis on formal learning . Although academic sducation is essential, play is equally valuable for education social, physical and creative development. A balanced approach would allow young learners to gain academic kniowledge while also developing essential life skills.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the two-part prompt successfully. The candidate presents a clear position throughout the essay, agreeing that formal learning is necessary while arguing that play is equally crucial for holistic child development. Ideas are extended and supported with relevant explanations and examples, such as mentioning how teamwork and practical activities benefit children. Although some examples like mathematical games are placed somewhat abruptly in the third paragraph, the main arguments are adequately developed and directly answer both questions regarding the extent of agreement and the importance of play. The response satisfies the requirements of a Band 7 performance for task achievement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay displays a clear overall progression and logical organisation. Paragraphing is utilised appropriately to separate different facets of the argument, such as the drawbacks of excessive formal learning, the benefits of play, and the conclusion. Cohesive devices are employed to connect ideas, seen in phrases like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'However'. However, there are some minor cohesive and referencing issues, including spacing and punctuation errors around transitions, as well as an incomplete transitional phrase at the start of the second paragraph ('On the hand'). These mechanical flaws prevent the response from achieving a higher band, placing it comfortably at Band 6.5.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss education and child development, incorporating less common terms such as 'holistic', 'attention spans', 'independent thinking', and 'coordination'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word choice inaccuracies throughout the text, including 'focal point' instead of 'focus', 'cghildtrens' instead of 'children's', 'equaly', 'phsical', 'formallearning', 'compeleting', 'excerises', 'rto', 'inatances', 'physicaly', 'likey', 'conckusions', and 'kniowledge'. These errors indicate a lack of precision and care with spelling, though communication is not impeded. This performance aligns with the Band 6 descriptors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over multi-clause structures such as 'Children need to develop basic skills in reading, writing and mathematics because these provide the foundation for their future education.' However, punctuation and capitalization errors are frequent throughout the response, including missing spaces after commas and periods, missing capitalization at the start of sentences and with the pronoun 'i', and minor grammatical slips like 'education social' instead of 'educational, social'. While the majority of simple sentences are accurate and meaning remains clear, the accumulation of mechanical and grammatical errors keeps the score at a Band 6.

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