Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-17
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Primary school is mainly focus towards formal learning nowadays, i strongly agree that and now in this essay we are going to discuss about importance for children to play as well as learn in school
On on hand, primary schools mainly focus much on fromal learning it is because their main aim is to make the children well prepared for the upcoming challenges in near future . Their main motive is basically to make children more discipline and teach them about the value of time management . They simply priotise formal learning due to the pressure from children's parents .Although much focusing only in formal learning leads to the stress and pressurize them .
On the other hand, there is much more importance of children to give them enough time to relax play as well as learn in primary school classroom. Children are meant to be feel stress free make their work as they wanted basically they are the free birds so giving much time to enjoy them can actually helps to extract their talent and make them more compititive in their remaining life . If primary school give equal constrast of palying time and learning time they can be more productive as well as creative , quick learner. For instance When i was a child i used to do lots of homeworks and i was not able to make myself refresh by playing with my friends.I used to have a fear in my mind if i didnot did my study then i can get punished by teacher .
In conclusion I strongly suggest there is much importance for children to play side by side learning in classroom which helps to grow them more soley and more productively .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt, agreeing that formal learning is heavily focused on while also discussing the importance of play alongside learning. However, the development of ideas is limited and somewhat repetitive. For instance, the first body paragraph mentions preparation for future challenges, discipline, time management, and parental pressure, but these points are stated rather than fully extended or supported with specific examples. The personal example in the second body paragraph ('When i was a child i used to do lots of homeworks...') is somewhat vague and anecdotal. The writer maintains a clear position throughout, but the depth of argumentation aligns best with Band 5.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, showing basic paragraphing. However, progression is hindered by repetitive phrasing and weak cohesive devices. For instance, transitional phrases like 'On on hand' (a typo for 'On the one hand') and 'On the other hand' are used, but the overall logical flow is disrupted by run-on sentences and a lack of smooth transitions between ideas. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as 'make their work as they wanted basically they are the free birds'. While there is an overall structure, the mechanical use of cohesion and occasional breakdown in logical progression place this at a Band 5 level.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The student attempts to use some less common vocabulary, such as 'compititive' (misspelled), 'productively', and 'contrast', but the range is limited and imprecise. There are noticeable errors in word choice and word formation throughout the text, including 'focus towards formal learning' instead of 'focused on formal learning', 'much focusing only in formal learning' instead of 'focusing too much on formal learning', and 'homeworks' (an uncountable noun used as countable). These lexical errors and spelling mistakes occasionally cause difficulty for the reader, fitting the Band 5 descriptors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay exhibits a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple sentences and faulty attempts at complex forms. There are frequent grammatical and punctuation errors, such as comma splices ('Primary school is mainly focus towards formal learning nowadays, i strongly agree that and now in this essay...'), missing articles ('importance of children'), tense inconsistencies, and subject-verb agreement issues ('If primary school give equal constrast...'). These errors frequently strain the reader and obscure the intended meaning, matching the criteria for Band 4.5, which rounds to Band 5.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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