Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-17
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
A few individuals debate that primary educational institutes concentrate more on formal learning. I strongly agree with this statement, as the kids of the primary kids are expected to study hard and get good scores instead of participating in extracurricular activities. In my opinion, it is really important for them to play at that particular age in order to build hobbies and stay physically fit.
Nowadays, modern schools prioritize studies a lot, which can pressure kids to study hard. This could result in them discontinuing other activities and just aiming for higher grades in exams. The primary example of this is that a lot of schools eliminate the sports period and take tests during that time closer to the exam time. This results in a lot of missed sports periods in the academic year.
In my opinion, it is crucial for the students to play as
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response is severely incomplete, containing only 146 words against the mandatory 250-word minimum. This major under-length violation heavily restricts the development of your ideas. While you do introduce a clear position stating that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and you briefly touch upon both parts of the prompt (the degree of agreement and the importance of play), the discussion is abruptly cut off mid-sentence at the end of the second body paragraph. Consequently, the ideas are under-developed, and the conclusion is completely missing. To achieve a higher band score in Task Achievement, you must fully develop all parts of the task and ensure you meet the minimum word count requirement.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
Your writing shows some basic organizational structure, opening with an introductory paragraph that states your position, followed by a body paragraph that introduces a supporting example. However, because the text stops abruptly at 146 words, it is impossible to evaluate full paragraphing or overall progression. Cohesive devices are used in a basic manner, such as 'Nowadays' and 'The primary example of this is that', but referencing is occasionally awkward, as seen in the phrase 'the kids of the primary kids'. Logical flow is interrupted by the premature ending of the essay. To improve, you need to structure a complete essay with a clear introduction, well-developed body paragraphs, and a concluding summary using a wider variety of cohesive links naturally.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a minimally adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully using terms like 'extracurricular activities', 'prioritize', and 'academic year'. However, there are notable lexical inaccuracies and awkward phrasing, such as 'A few individuals debate' (where 'argue' or 'claim' would be more natural) and the repetitive, confusing phrase 'the kids of the primary kids'. Spelling and word formation are generally accurate, but the lack of more sophisticated uncommon lexical items keeps the lexical score in the mid-range. To improve, you should incorporate more precise, less common academic vocabulary and ensure strict attention to natural word collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
Your essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over grammar. You successfully use structures such as 'which can pressure kids to study hard' and 'instead of participating in'. However, the range of grammatical structures is ultimately limited due to the short length of the text. There are also occasional awkward constructions, and the essay ends mid-sentence, preventing a full assessment of complex sentence control. To improve your grammar score, you need to write a complete response featuring a wider variety of complex sentence structures while maintaining high accuracy across longer, more sophisticated syntax.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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