Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-18
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In present time, the primary schools only focus on formal learning instead from the others activities.Few individuals think that it is a better way for the students to focus on their future.I completely disagreed from this notion and the relevant point and the further explanation will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs.
To commence with, it will affect the students mental abilities.Primary schools focus only on academic progress, which leads the pressure on students brain.As, they only learn academic subjects like mathematics, science and others which required more mental ability to solve the questions related to these subjects.This leads to depression on students.As a result, students does not able to do physical activities because they does not have any physical strength and stamina which are essentials things for these activites.
Furthermore, it is more important for students to play in the classrooms.It will help students to boost theor physical strength.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt regarding formal learning and play in primary schools, and states a clear position of complete disagreement. However, the ideas are severely underdeveloped due to the very short length. The essay contains only 150 words, which significantly fails to meet the minimum requirement of 250 words. Because the task is substantially under length, the development of ideas is abruptly cut short, particularly in the final body paragraph, which is only two sentences long. This prevents the student from fully exploring the arguments and results in a lower band score for this criterion.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay attempts a basic paragraph structure with an introduction and two body paragraphs, though the conclusion is entirely missing. There is an attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Furthermore', and 'As a result'. However, the logical progression is hindered by repetitive phrasing and poor linking, such as starting multiple sentences with 'As'. Paragraphing is also disrupted by the lack of a proper conclusion, and the abrupt ending at 150 words makes the overall organizational structure incomplete. Referencing within sentences is occasionally unclear.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with limited flexibility. The student employs common terms like 'primary schools', 'formal learning', and 'academic subjects', but struggles with appropriate word choices and collocations, evidenced by errors such as 'instead from the others activities' and 'leads the pressure on students brain'. There are also awkward expressions like 'boost theor physical strength' (with a spelling error in 'theor'). The range of vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey the basic topic, but fails to demonstrate resourcefulness or precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The essay exhibits a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple sentences alongside a few poorly controlled complex attempts. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including tense and preposition mistakes such as 'In present time', 'completely disagreed from this notion', 'students does not able', and 'does not have any physical strength'. Punctuation is also erratic in places, such as missing spaces after periods (e.g., 'question.As, they'). These persistent errors occasionally cause difficulty for the reader.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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