Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is widely argued that primary educational institutions place too much attention over academic learning rather than holistic development. I completely agree with this opinion because formal desk base learning not only cultivates less creative students but also makes them over stressed.

Firstly, an over-reliance on structured academic tasks can diminish the opportunities for play activities and creative tasks. Children learn essential skills such as problem-solving, collaboration and emotional development only through peer interaction. But structured education and tight time-table routines leave no room for children fun activities, so they get bored from study easily. Consequently, this can inhibit critical thinking and foster a passive approach which limits the boundaries of thinking of children.

On the other hand, primary institutes over-emphasize the desk base learning at the crucial development stage of the children, this can lead to anxiety and stress at early age. Students thrive when curiosity drives their education. However, when there is no room for extra-curricular activities and schools enforce high-stake testing, leaning becomes associated with performance metrics rather than exploration. While foundational skills are undoubtedly necessary in literacy and numeracy but introducing them through strict formal learning can make students to view school as burdensome,ultimately eroding their enthusiasm for learning.

In conclusion, schools put too much weight on formal academic learning. To cultivate more resilient and well rounded individuals, institute should focus on play, practical learning, and social-emotional development. Although core academic concepts are vital, they should be introduced via activity-based learning.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the two-part prompt, clearly stating agreement with the notion that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and discussing the importance of play in the classroom. The position is maintained throughout the essay with relevant ideas, such as how excessive desk-bound learning reduces creativity and causes stress. However, the ideas could be further extended with more detailed examples. Furthermore, a strict length check reveals that the response contains 245 words, falling slightly short of the 250-word minimum requirement. Consequently, a minor penalty has been applied to Task Achievement for under-length, resulting in a band score of 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a clear overall progression and logical organisation. Each paragraph has a distinct focus: introduction, the impact of over-reliance on structured tasks, the psychological effects of high-stakes testing, and the conclusion. Cohesive devices are used reasonably well, such as 'Firstly', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion'. However, referencing and transitions are at times slightly mechanical or repetitive, and paragraphing could be managed more fluidly. Overall, the essay meets the criteria for Band 6.5, but is placed at Band 6.0 due to occasional awkward transitional phrasing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common collocations and phrases such as 'holistic development', 'over-reliance', 'high-stake testing', and 'social-emotional development'. However, there are notable lexical errors and awkward phrasing throughout the text, such as 'place too much attention over' instead of 'on', 'desk base learning' instead of 'desk-based learning', and 'children fun activities' instead of 'fun activities for children'. These inaccuracies prevent the score from reaching Band 7.0, although communication is never impeded.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at varied clause structures. For instance, the writer successfully uses subordinate clauses in sentences like 'While foundational skills are undoubtedly necessary... but introducing them...'. However, there are several grammatical errors and punctuation issues, including 'make students to view' (should be 'make students view'), a missing hyphen in 'well rounded' (should be 'well-rounded'), and a comma splice near the end ('burdensome,ultimately eroding'). The frequency of these minor grammatical inaccuracies places the writing squarely at Band 6.0.

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