Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is widely argued that primary educational institutions place too much attention on academic learning rather than holistic development. I completely agree with this opinion because formal desk based learning not only cultivates less creative students but also makes them over-stressed.

Firstly, an over-reliance on structured academic tasks can diminish the opportunities for play activities and creative tasks, so schools should adapt to recently developed learning techniques. Children learn essential skills such as problem-solving, collaboration and emotional development only through peer interaction. But structured education and tight timetable routines leave no room for children’s fun activities, so they get bored from studying easily. Consequently, this can inhibit critical thinking and foster a passive approach which limits the boundaries of thinking of children.

On the other hand, primary institutes overemphasize the desk based learning at the crucial development stage of the children, this can lead to anxiety and stress at early age. Students thrive when curiosity drives their education. However, when there is no room for extra-curricular activities and schools enforce high-stakes testing, learning becomes associated with performance metrics rather than exploration. While foundational skills are undoubtedly necessary in literacy and numeracy but introducing them through strict formal learning can make students view school as burdensome, ultimately eroding their enthusiasm for learning.

In conclusion, schools put too much weight on formal academic learning. To cultivate more resilient and well-rounded individuals, institutions should focus on play, practical learning, and social-emotional development. Although core academic concepts are vital, they should be introduced via activity-based learning.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt directly: whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and the importance of play alongside learning. You state a clear position in the introduction that you completely agree with the opinion. Your ideas are relevant and generally well-developed, discussing how formal desk-based learning can reduce creativity and induce stress, while play fosters essential skills like collaboration and problem-solving. However, some arguments tend to over-generalise slightly, such as claiming tight timetables leave no room for any fun activities, which aligns your work well with the Band 7 descriptor where all parts are addressed with a clear position and extended ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

Your essay demonstrates a clear overall progression and logical organisation throughout. Each paragraph has a distinct focus, moving from an introduction and stance to arguments about creativity, stress, and a concluding summary. Cohesive devices are used reasonably well, such as 'Firstly', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion', though referencing and transitions can occasionally feel slightly mechanical, as seen in 'On the other hand, primary institutes overemphasize the desk based learning...'. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, guiding the reader smoothly through your arguments.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary that allows for some flexibility and precision, such as 'holistic development', 'over-reliance', 'collaboration', and 'high-stakes testing'. You also attempt less common items with general awareness of style and collocation, like 'foster a passive approach' and 'well-rounded individuals'. There are occasional awkward expressions or minor word-choice inaccuracies, such as 'desk based learning' lacking a hyphen, and 'get bored from studying easily' rather than 'with'. Spelling and word choice errors do not impede communication, placing your lexical performance comfortably at Band 7.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You exhibit a good mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including conditional and subordinate clauses like 'Children learn essential skills... only through peer interaction' and 'While foundational skills are undoubtedly necessary...'. There is good control of overall grammar and punctuation, though a few minor errors persist, such as a comma splice in the third paragraph ('...stage of the children, this can lead...') and missing articles ('at early age'). Frequent error-free sentences are present, and your grammatical control easily supports clear communication.

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