Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-18
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
In many modern educational systems, primary schools place a heavy emphasis on structured academic instruction and formal testing. I largely agree that schools focus excessively on formal learning, as this approach can stifle children’s enthusiasm and development. Consequently, incorporating play into the classroom is essential for well-rounded growth.
Overemphasizing formal learning in early education can have negative effects on young children. When six- and seven-year-olds are required to sit at desks for long hours completing repetitive worksheets, they often experience unnecessary stress and burnout. For instance, in many Asian countries, intense early academic preparation leads to anxiety at a young age. Furthermore, rigid curricula leave little room for curiosity and critical thinking, which are far more valuable for long-term intellectual growth than simple rote memorization.
Integrating play alongside formal learning is vital for a child's cognitive and social development. Through play, children learn abstract concepts in a practical, enjoyable way. For example, using building blocks or playing educational group games helps young students grasp basic mathematical and scientific principles naturally. Moreover, interactive play fosters essential social skills such as teamwork, negotiation, and conflict resolution. When children share toys or work together on a project, they learn empathy and communication in a way that formal lectures cannot teach.
In conclusion, while basic literacy and numeracy skills are necessary foundation blocks, primary schools currently overemphasize formal academic training. Integrating play into the daily curriculum ensures that children develop both academically and socially, maintaining a lifelong love for learning.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 7.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses all parts of the two-part prompt directly. The writer clearly states a position on formal learning and explains the importance of play in primary school. Ideas are well developed with relevant examples, such as mentioning Asian educational systems and the use of building blocks. However, a small penalty must be applied to Task Achievement because the response falls short of the 250-word minimum, containing only 246 words. Despite this slight length deficit, the overall coverage and extension of ideas are strong and clearly meet the criteria for a solid performance.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0
The essay displays clear logical organisation and progression throughout. The introduction successfully outlines the writer's stance, and each body paragraph focuses on a distinct sub-topic with appropriate introductory framing. Cohesive devices such as 'For instance', 'Furthermore', and 'Moreover' are used effectively to guide the reader through the argument. Paragraphing is logical, with a clear introductory paragraph, two body paragraphs exploring the respective prompts, and a concise concluding summary. Referencing is clear and unambiguous, maintaining a smooth flow of ideas from beginning to end.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
The student uses a sufficient range of vocabulary with good flexibility and precision. Less common lexical items and collocations are successfully employed throughout the text, such as 'stifle children’s enthusiasm', 'repetitive worksheets', 'abstract concepts', and 'fosters essential social skills'. Word choices are generally natural and appropriate for an academic context. There are no noticeable spelling or word-choice errors that impede communication. The control of vocabulary comfortably exceeds the threshold for a Band 7.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0
The writer demonstrates a good command of grammatical structures, successfully blending simple and complex sentences. There is a frequent use of error-free sentences incorporating subordinate clauses, participial phrases, and gerunds, such as 'When six- and seven-year-olds are required to sit at desks for long hours completing repetitive worksheets...'. Punctuation is accurate, and control over tense and agreement is well-maintained. While the range of structures is somewhat standard for academic essays rather than exceptionally wide, the high level of accuracy and frequent error-free complex sentences support a strong band score.
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