Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many people argue that elementry schools mostly emphasizes on structured learning. I totally agree with the statement due to the fact that children become more analogous and do not develop independent thinking of their own. I do believe that playing outside study hours is advantageous as it allows them to develop communication skills and team work.

For children stuck on strict learning enviornment, they are not able to comprehend to work on their own due to being stuck in a structural cage where they are programmed to perform one step after another without asking any questions. This type of behaviour teaches the children to follow the crowd rather than to lead it which is not the ideal mindset to develop for youngsters because they are the pillars for the future. For example, children praised when they get high grades on school typically believe that having higher grade is what defines being an ideal student and may look down upon their colleagues just for having a decent grade.

Performing extra activities while they are not focused on books is crucial for younger students as they are able to learn new things which are not taught by the school. Communication skills and working with others are essential, as these types of skills are required in life. As they grow up they will come across different kinds of people and might have to work with them. If they are simply taught in a fixed learning envrionment to do what they are told they might not be able to experience such things in life. For instance, children who played competitive sports in school are able to perform well performing with a group of unknown people compared to those who didn't play outside their study hours.

In conlusion, I believe primary schools focusing more on formal learning is not beneficial for young children as it develop a type of herd mentality and behaviour like that of a clock. Allowing to play outside learning hours is important because it allows them to develop new skills which are required in the future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The student addresses all parts of the two-part prompt, taking a clear stance that primary schools focus too much on formal learning and that play is crucial for development. The position is maintained throughout the essay. Ideas are presented and supported with explanations regarding communication skills, teamwork, and the dangers of a herd mentality. However, the development tends to be somewhat repetitive, and examples such as children being praised for high grades or comparing those who played sports remain slightly generalised and under-developed. Nevertheless, the response covers all parts of the task adequately, aligning with the requirements for a Band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is divided into a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, displaying a logical overall arrangement. Progression is generally apparent, moving from the critique of formal learning to the benefits of play. However, cohesion at the sentence level is occasionally faulty or mechanical. For instance, transitional phrases and referencing are sometimes awkward, such as 'For children stuck on strict learning enviornment...' and 'Allowing to play outside learning hours...', which affects the seamless flow of ideas. Paragraphing is used sufficiently to separate main points, but internal cohesion requires better management. These features place the response firmly in Band 6.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student attempts a range of vocabulary suitable for the academic task, including terms like 'independent thinking', 'advantageous', 'comprehend', and 'herd mentality'. However, there are numerous spelling and word-choice errors that detract from precision, such as 'elementry', 'emphasizes on', 'enviornment', and 'conlusion'. Furthermore, some collocations are awkward or inaccurate, such as 'become more analogous' and 'perform well performing'. While the vocabulary is adequate to convey the central message and communication is not severely impeded, the frequency of errors restricts the lexical score to Band 5.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as 'I do believe that playing outside study hours is advantageous as it allows them to develop communication skills...' However, there are frequent grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, including 'children praised when they get high grades' (missing auxiliary), 'if they are simply taught in a fixed learning envrionment to do what they are told they might not be able...' (punctuation and structural issues), and preposition misuse like 'focus too much on formal learning' handled okay, but 'focusing more on formal learning' with a gerund subject clause error in the conclusion ('as it develop'). These errors occasionally cause difficulty for the reader, placing the grammar at a Band 5.5.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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