Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Many people argue that elementary schools mostly emphasize on structured learning. I totally agree with the statement due to the fact that children become more analogous and do not develop independent thinking of their own. I do believe that playing outside study hours is advantageous as it allows them to develop communication skills and teamwork.

For children stuck in strict environment, they are not able to comprehend to work on their own due to being stuck in a structural cage where they are programmed to perform one step after another without asking any questions. This type of behavior teaches the children to follow the crowd rather than to lead it which is not the ideal mindset to develop for youngsters because they are the pillars for the future. For example, children praised when they get high grades at school typically believe that having higher grades is what defines being an ideal student and may look down upon their colleagues just for having a decent grade.

Performing extra activities while they are not focused on books is crucial for younger students as they are able to learn new things which are not taught by the school. Communication skills and working with others are essential, as these types of skills are required in life. As they grow up they will come across different kinds of people and might have to work with them. If they are simply taught in a fixed learning environment to do what they are told they might not be able to experience such things in life. For instance, children who played competitive sports in school are able to perform well performing with a group of unknown people compared to those who didn't play outside their study hours.

In conclusion, I believe primary schools focusing more on formal learning is not beneficial for young children as it develops a type of herd mentality and behavior like that of a clock. Allowing them to play outside learning hours is important because it allows them to develop new skills which are required in the future

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and the importance of play alongside learning. The writer takes a clear position in the introduction and maintains it throughout the essay. Ideas are extended with explanations and examples, such as the discussion on herd mentality and the benefits of team sports. However, some arguments tend to over-generalize, such as claiming that structured learning completely programs children like a clock without asking questions, which falls into the Band 7 descriptor territory where ideas are extended and supported, but with some over-generalization.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is logically organized into four paragraphs with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Progression is generally clear throughout the text, moving from the critique of formal learning to the benefits of play. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'For example' and 'In conclusion', but referencing is occasionally imprecise, and logical links between sentences can feel slightly mechanical or repetitive ('As they grow up', 'For instance'). Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas, aligning well with the Band 6 descriptor where the overall arrangement is coherent despite some mechanical cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range for the task, attempting some less common and advanced phrasing such as 'herd mentality', 'structural cage', and 'independent thinking'. However, there are noticeable lexical inaccuracies and awkward collocations throughout the text. For instance, the phrase 'emphasize on' incorrectly includes a preposition, 'children become more analogous' is used incorrectly in this context, and 'comprehend to work' is unidiomatic. These inaccuracies do not completely impede communication, placing the vocabulary firmly at the Band 6 level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including conditional-like clauses ('If they are simply taught...') and relative clauses. However, there are frequent grammatical errors and punctuation slips throughout the response. Examples include missing commas after introductory phrases ('For children stuck in strict environment'), grammatical slips like 'children praised when they get' missing a passive auxiliary, and 'perform well performing' creating an awkward redundancy. While these errors do not severely impede comprehension, they prevent the grammar score from reaching a Band 7 due to a lack of consistent control.

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