Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-18
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The argument on that, the elementry schools focuses a lot on academic knowledge is ongoing between various individuals. In my opinion, I agree to this that, the schools main goal is just to provide the basic learning rather than, providing them some other skills and abilities too.
On the one hand, In most of the schools their main purpose is to maintain a best reputation in the race of academic among the other schools. If the teaching institute put all of its attention towards the professional learning of their students then, it will be very challenging for them to show numerous capabilities in their life during the journey of being independent. For example, one of my friends from childhood was in such type of school; however she performed very well in acdemic journey. But, she faced numerous difficulties when she came in the adult professional life.
On the other hand, it is quite crucial for the the younger generation in the beginner-level classrooms to be equally involved in sports as the are in studies. If the children are enroll in the same level in physical activities as they are in learning then, it will be very beneficial for their well-being as it will provide them mental peace. For instance, one of my relative's son was in a school who facilitate the students with the availability of taking part in sports. Because of this he remained active and healthy throughout, his school period as compared to his friend whose, main focus was to just achieve high scores in studies
In conclusion,basic schools should provide interest in teaching the students some curricular activities rather than, just putting the academic burden. Moreover, the younger students should must participate in physical exercises to ease their studies pressure and learn different skills.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and the importance of play alongside learning. The writer takes a clear position, stating agreement that schools focus too much on academics and asserting that play and physical activities are crucial. However, the development of ideas remains somewhat limited and relies heavily on personal anecdotes rather than fully generalized examples. For instance, the discussion of the author's childhood friend and relative's son supports the argument, but the reasoning could be extended further to meet higher band descriptors. Nevertheless, all parts of the task are addressed with relevant ideas, corresponding well to Band 6.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear paragraph structure, utilizing traditional transition phrases such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion'. However, cohesion is frequently faulty and mechanical. For example, referencing is sometimes unclear, as seen in phrases like 'one of my relative's son was in a school who facilitate the students' where relative pronouns are misused. Paragraphing is present and separates the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion adequately, but the logical progression between sentences is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and punctuation errors, placing this response firmly at a Band 5.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common items such as 'reputation', 'capabilities', and 'well-being'. However, there are noticeable word-choice and collocation errors that detract from the precision of the writing, such as 'elementry schools focuses' and 'race of academic among the other schools'. Spelling errors like 'acdemic' also appear. While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey the basic message, the frequent inaccuracies in word form and collocation prevent the response from achieving a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but attempts at complex structures are often faulty and laden with grammatical errors. Frequent issues include subject-verb agreement errors ('elementry schools focuses', 'the children are enroll'), punctuation mistakes, and awkward phrasing such as 'should must participate'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur with high frequency and cause difficulty for the reader at times. The control of grammar aligns best with the Band 5 descriptors.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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