Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent times, concentrating solely on the academic learning of the pupils enrolled in elementary schools has become increasingly prevalent across a plethora of learning institutes. This trend is primarily driven by the the significant importance given to the marks and percentages of the learners, based on the compulsory subjects, as this is regarded as the component of intelligence and acheivement among many schools and parents along with the competittive atmosphere created amongst the students to excel in the formal subjects. I completely agree with the view that primary learners undergo a lot of pressure due to extreme focus on formal education since a young age.

Young learners in primary school are alreday adjusting to the new enviroment of school and their daily routine, which presents myriad of challenges for them, on top of that schools these days are quite stringent about pupils scoring high grades in main subjects throughout the year, as it forms the basis for further education. Instead of making school a place for holistic development where a learners explores different areas such as interests in sports or painting, schools burden them with prime focus on grades of their report card since the beginning, instilling a mindset where high marks become the epitome of success and worthy of appreciation. In a highly competitive country like India, schools believe, the studdents should be accustomed of the culture where learning is supposed to hapen in a structured manner, focusing on acheiving excellent grades in academics from the primary school itself. For example, teachers giving sticker stars to students scoring high in class or making others clap for them.

As said " all work and no play, make Jack a dull boy" fully resonates with my opinion, it is imperative for a school particulary elementary, to be inculcating a whole wide range of options of extracurricular activites in the curiculum for learners, along with focusing on the formal education to help them develop their interests and hone their skills. Moreover, Childhood is a phase of curiosity, where focusing only on academics can diminish their ability to think creatively, it is a time where a child can explore their prefrences and talents. For instance, introducing a mandatory music class or a karate class is a great idea for students to rejunivate themselves and bolster their overall development.

In conclusion, although focus on the academics in primary school is an indespensable part of education, but relying solely on it can hinder the holistic development of a child.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the two-part prompt successfully. The candidate clearly takes a position agreeing that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and discusses the importance of play and holistic development. Ideas are extended and supported well with examples, such as the competitive atmosphere in India and the mention of sticker stars or karate classes. The position is clear throughout the text, and the main arguments regarding pressure on young learners and the need for extracurricular activities are well-developed. While there is a slight tendency to over-generalize in parts, the response fully satisfies the requirements of Band 7.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The response has a clear logical organisation and progression throughout. Information and ideas are structured into an introduction, well-developed body paragraphs, and a brief conclusion. Cohesive devices are used reasonably well, such as 'Moreover', 'For instance', and 'In conclusion', though referencing and transitions can occasionally feel slightly mechanical. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas, such as the pressures of formal education versus the benefits of play and extracurricular activities. Overall, cohesion is managed effectively enough to meet the criteria for Band 7.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The writer uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision, attempting less common items such as 'holistic development', 'indispensable', 'rejuvenate', and 'extracurricular activities'. However, there are several noticeable spelling and word choice errors throughout the text, including 'acheivement', 'competittive', 'studdents', 'hapen', 'particulary', 'curiculum', 'prefrences', and 'indespensable'. Although these errors do not impede communication and the range is adequate for the task, the frequency of spelling mistakes prevents the response from achieving a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The student demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating relative clauses and conditional structures. There are several instances of good complex structures, such as 'Instead of making school a place for holistic development where a learner explores different areas... schools burden them...'. However, there are frequent grammatical errors and punctuation lapses, such as missing articles ('the significant importance', 'the studdents'), comma splices ('As said "all work and no play, make Jack a dull boy" fully resonates...'), subject-verb agreement issues ('make' instead of 'makes'), and minor prepositional inaccuracies. These errors occur regularly but rarely impede overall communication.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.