Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Education plays a crucial role in the life of the man. Education is divided into different categories. Formal or informal education is very popular in the world. It is true that primary school focus on formal learning rather informal learning. I agree to this opinion.

In primary school, the pattern of timing to school is same as in the old days from 8 to 2pm. In my country, primary school too much focus on formal learning. Children do not allow to outside or play ground for some fun in the time of school. They read the books all the time. This type of actions lead to the dull of the children. Even the parent sent the children to the tution rather than playing fields after free from school. This type of pattern will be harmful for the health of the children.

In modern era, the world has changed rapidly. People changed due to the latest technology. Similarly the same pattren is imposed on children activities. School must be provide games or play ground to the children. They will learn co-operation in the playground. They respect their friends and become a good society. Similarly, some children become famous in the play ground and outdoor activities. The mind of such children is very sharp in both sectors either playground or study. In my country, some famous schools provide both formal or informal education. These schools are built on modern strucutre and follow the principle of the developed countries education.

Summing up, the education system should be improved in the primary schools. These primary school should be abreast of the latest technology, play ground and gives the job to the youngsters.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, expressing clear agreement with the premise that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and discussing the importance of play alongside learning. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. For example, phrases like 'Children do not allow to outside or play ground' express the main points simply without deep elaboration or robust examples. The position is clear throughout, but the arguments rely on generalisations rather than well-supported evidence. This performance aligns best with the Band 5 descriptors, as the task is addressed, but the ideas remain somewhat limited and under-developed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression is frequently disrupted by awkward transitions and isolated sentences, such as 'I agree to this opinion.' Cohesive devices are minimal, repetitive, or inaccurate, with frequent reliance on basic linkers like 'Similarly' and 'Summing up' which do not always logically fit the context. Paragraphing is attempted, but the grouping of ideas lacks cohesive flow, especially in the body paragraphs where sentences jump abruptly between school rules, tuition, and modern technology. This meets the criteria for Band 5, where there is some overall organisation, but the lack of clear progression and faulty cohesive devices hinder readability.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, frequently revolving around simple terms like 'education,' 'learning,' 'children,' and 'school.' There are noticeable lexical errors and inappropriate word choices, such as 'lead to the dull of the children' instead of 'cause children to become dull' and 'pattren' instead of 'pattern.' Attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'modern structure' or 'developed countries education,' result in unnatural phrasing and collocation errors. However, the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey the basic message, fitting the Band 5 descriptor where noticeable errors cause some difficulty for the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The text displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying mostly on simple sentences with frequent structural errors. There are numerous basic grammatical inaccuracies throughout the essay, such as 'primary school focus' (subject-verb agreement), 'Children do not allow to outside' (passive voice error), 'school must be provide' (modal verb error), and 'formal or informal education' where 'and' would be more appropriate than 'or'. These frequent errors cause difficulty for the reader and demonstrate poor control over complex sentence forms, placing the grammar firmly in the Band 5 category.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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