Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

A few people state that primary schools are focusing too much on giving the students formal education rather than more working on their personality and teaching them to work and think creative.

I partially agree with this statement because i have observed that now-a-days the schools are just trying to make the children an empty hallow shell by sucking all the creativity and feedingthemwith just the textbook knowledge. The phase and the place that should teach them how to grow, is teaching them how to behave like a slave.

With their thoughts being crushed at the very beginning ( like nipping the flower in its bid ) children find it hard to express themselves and later on it becomes their worst nightmare. They even keep the things that should be shared with others but the fear of rejection stops them. so i firmly believe that teachers and educational institutes should focus on these types of issues that could affect a students future.

And I also find it very neccessary for students to do outdoor activities which would help them to have physical fitness as well as mental soothness becuase in a primary school classroom, it is important for them to have these kind of things which would always help them to see tht there a world outside the classroom that is just more beautiful. Sports will help them to learn about new things like friendships,sportsmanship,dicsipline and so much more. To conclude, I affirmly want to make sports an essential component of the education system.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt's two main questions: whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and the importance of play in the classroom. The writer takes a clear, albeit highly emotional, position, agreeing with the premise and arguing strongly for creativity and physical activity. However, the development of ideas leans heavily on hyperbole rather than balanced academic reasoning. Phrases like 'make the children an empty hallow shell' and 'behave like a slave' overstate the point and lack the objective tone expected in an Academic Task 2 essay. While all parts of the prompt are addressed, the arguments are somewhat limited and lack fully supported, objective examples. Therefore, this performance meets the criteria for Band 5.5 to 6.0, and a score of 6.0 is awarded as the response successfully addresses all parts of the task with relevant ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is divided into four paragraphs, providing a basic structural framework. There is an overall progression of ideas from the critique of formal learning to the emotional impact on children, and finally to the importance of physical activities and sports. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes awkward or mechanical, as seen with transitions like 'And I also find it...' and 'To conclude, I affirmly want...'. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and paragraphing could be managed more effectively to separate distinct sub-points. The logical flow is somewhat disrupted by emotional outbursts rather than smooth discursive transitions. These features place the response firmly in the Band 5.5 to 6.0 range, and a band score of 6.0 is appropriate.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student attempts a range of vocabulary, including phrases like 'formal education', 'textbook knowledge', 'emotional impact', and 'physical fitness'. However, there are numerous lexical errors, awkward collocations, and spelling mistakes throughout the text. Examples include 'creative' used instead of the adverb 'creatively', 'hallow' instead of 'hollow', 'feedingthemwith' (spacing and spelling error), 'bid' instead of the idiom 'bud', 'neccessary', 'soothness' instead of 'soothingness' or 'calmness', 'becuase', and 'affirmly' instead of 'firmly'. These errors indicate an adequate range for the task, but the noticeable inaccuracies and spelling slips prevent the score from reaching a higher band. This performance aligns with Band 5.5, and a band score of 5.5 is awarded.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over clause structures (e.g., 'because i have observed that now-a-days the schools are just trying to...'). However, the text contains frequent grammatical errors, punctuation issues, and missing capitalization (e.g., 'i' instead of 'I', missing commas before dependent clauses). There are also structural awkwardness issues, such as 'rather than more working on their personality'. While the grammar does not completely impede overall communication, the frequency of errors prevents the sentences from achieving consistent accuracy. This reflects the Band 5.5 descriptor profile where complex sentences often contain errors, warranting a band score of 5.5.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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