Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The word that we live in today is dominated by on practical knowledge. indivitual people think that elementary institute focus and much on regular education. I disagree with this opinion to a large extent. My preference is justified in the upcoming paragraphs with valid reasons and appropriate examples.

I suggest in schools not oly focus on formal leaning however give knowledge on practical. Beacuse of that knowledge improve children mind morover make more constant focus on study and after they do good job in their future. For example when they take practice and after they process on their life then they understand thier knowledge.As a result, in future they work on practical knowlegde not on formal learning.

I think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom. As mental health more important then physical health. Due to some child are good in outdoor game better then study. In addition schools staff play outdoor and indoor both game but not on realted social meadia. Now mostlt student paly only mobile and pc game that game destoru child mind also distracte on study focus. For example some people play on internatinal level. For example parents should not presure on study also allow for other activity thus child could improve their knowledge.

In conclusion, schools staff teach on practical base not olny primary schools focus rather than formal learning. along with keep new activities for student and do more knowledge for their mental health. That's why i am disagree with that question and I give my opinion to improve child mental and physical health. becuse both are important for child.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The student attempts to address both parts of the two-part prompt by giving their opinion on formal learning and discussing the importance of play alongside study. However, the development of ideas is limited and at times unclear due to weak expression. For instance, the statement 'I disagree with this opinion to a large extent' is followed by underdeveloped points about practical knowledge and mental health. While the writer attempts to present a position and support it with examples, such as mentioning mobile and PC games and international level play, the arguments lack depth and clarity. The response sits firmly at Band 4.5 to 5.0, as it addresses the task only partially with limited and under-developed ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The text is organised into four paragraphs, but the overall progression is difficult to follow due to poor logical sequencing and abrupt transitions. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as 'Beacuse of that knowledge improve children mind morover make more constant focus' and 'As mental health more important then physical health.' Paragraphing is attempted, but internal coherence within paragraphs is frequently disrupted by fragmented sentences and missing links between ideas. Referencing is also unclear at times, making it challenging for the reader to follow the argument smoothly. This performance aligns best with Band 4.0 descriptors.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The lexical resource is basic and repetitive, showing significant limitations. The student uses simple vocabulary and makes frequent word-choice and spelling errors that strain the reader, such as 'indivitual' for individual, 'leaning' for learning, 'Beacuse' for Because, 'destoru' for destroy, and 'distracte' for distracted. Attempts to use less common vocabulary result in unnatural collocations or incorrect forms, such as 'formal learning' used repetitively or 'process on their life.' While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey a basic topic, the high frequency of errors places this firmly in the lower band range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The student demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures. Simple sentences dominate, and attempts at complex or compound sentences are almost entirely faulty, containing frequent errors that cause severe difficulty for the reader. Examples include 'The word that we live in today is dominated by on practical knowledge' and 'parents should not presure on study also allow for other activity thus child could improve their knowledge.' Punctuation and capitalization are also problematic throughout the response. These persistent errors in grammar significantly impede communication, corresponding to a Band 4.0 score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.