Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often argued whether it is crucial for children to play as well as learn in primary school classrooms.

Many individuals argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning while others think that it is beneficial for children to focus only on traditional learning. This essay will discuss both views before explaining why I believe that many physical activities including sports are also necessary for children to play in primary schools.

In many primary schools, games are not allowed for children to play. Their teachers only focus on traditional learning without considering its possible demerits on children's mental and physical health. The primary reason for the children being sluggish is that they lack physical activities like sports.

Furthermore, children can reduce their mental stress, stay focused, calm and healthy by playing physical games. Scientic research also shows that children who participate in sports like football, cricket, hockey, and volleyball, etc are more active, healthy and they perform much better academically compared to other children.

Moreover, a child can become hectic and exhausted after focusing on traditional learning for a long time, so in my opinion primary schools must introduce sports activities into the curriculum. I'm not saying that the children should play these games professionally because they are at an initial stage of playing, but they must try to play them and in this case, the government should provide schools with all the sports facilities.

In conclusion, I would say that children should be provided an opportunity to play games as these games enable them to stay focused, healthy and more active rather than focusing on just traditional learning.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the two-part prompt by discussing whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning and exploring the importance of play alongside study. A clear position is maintained throughout, particularly in the introduction and body paragraphs, advocating for the integration of sports and physical activities into the daily routine. The ideas are generally relevant and extended with explanations regarding mental stress and physical health. However, some arguments tend to over-generalize, such as the broad claim that 'games are not allowed for children to play' in many primary schools, which lacks nuance. Additionally, the development of ideas could be deeper. Overall, the prompt is adequately covered, aligning well with the Band 6.0 descriptors.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a recognizable introduction, body paragraphs, and a concluding summary. Cohesive devices are employed to link ideas, such as 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion'. However, paragraphing and referencing are occasionally faulty; for example, the second body paragraph awkwardly groups the lack of physical activity and the benefits of sports together, and the transition between sentences can feel a bit mechanical. Logical progression is maintained for the most part, but the mechanical nature of the cohesive links prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. This corresponds closely to the Band 6.0 descriptors for Coherence and Cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating terms such as 'traditional learning', 'de-merits', 'mental stress', and 'curriculum'. There are several attempts to use less common vocabulary, but these are sometimes accompanied by inaccuracies in word choice or collocation, such as 'children can become hectic and exhausted' where 'hectic' is incorrectly attributed to people rather than situations or schedules. There are also minor awkward phrasings like 'at an initial stage of playing'. Spelling is generally accurate throughout the response. The lexical range is sufficient to communicate the main points, fitting the Band 6.0 level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures like conditional clauses and relative clauses. There are several instances of good grammatical control, but also a number of errors in grammar and punctuation. For instance, the phrase 'children who participate in sports like football, cricket, hockey, and volleyball, etc are more active' contains a redundancy with 'and' combined with 'etc'. Another minor slip appears in 'children should be provided an opportunity', missing a preposition. While these errors occur regularly, they rarely impede communication, allowing the writer to secure a solid Band 6.0.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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