Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Learning is a substantial part of a students life and is deeply woven into their lives since a young age. Some people aregue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning whereas it is also important for them to play. We are going to discuss both points and make the relevant comparisons below.

Schools are said to be focused too much on primary learning because it builds the confidence of the child as well as improve their problem solving skills. They are expected to focus on their work, do homework and learn new skills so they could become well trained and disciplined by being responsible. It helps them to become strategic as well as responsible as when they are expected to do everything on time, it makes them responsible for other things as well.

However, on the other hand if the children focus too much on learning so it is detrimental for their mental health as their entire focus is on learning. This makes them competitive and does not give them time to relax. Hence, it is also substantial for them to play after completing their work. I personally believe this should be balanced and they should be given a time to play to become more social, confident and make new friends so they could explore their other interests as well apart from studying. This would lower their stress and help them focus on their studies more as they would be waiting for their play time.

To conclude the essay, i strongly recommend that children should balance their formal learning with play time too to help them develop more understanding of the academic stress as well as how the outdoor games help to lower the stress. It is equally important and should be considered for them to learn more happily.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, exploring both the focus on formal learning and the importance of play in primary schools. The student establishes a clear position supporting a balance between the two. However, the development of ideas in the second paragraph is slightly repetitive, relying on the words responsible and confidence without fully expanding upon concrete academic benefits. For instance, mentioning that formal learning builds confidence is asserted rather than deeply illustrated. The conclusion also introduces a slight misunderstanding of the prompt's nuances by discussing 'academic stress' rather than focusing strictly on the balance of learning and play. Despite these minor limitations in idea extension, the prompt is adequately addressed overall, earning a solid Band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a logical progression of ideas from the introduction through the body paragraphs to the conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct points, such as the arguments for formal learning and the counter-arguments regarding mental health and play. Cohesive devices are employed, including transition markers like 'However, on the other hand' and 'Hence'. However, some referencing is slightly clunky, as seen in the opening paragraph's meta-language ('We are going to discuss both points and make the relevant comparisons below'), which is more typical of a speech than an academic essay. Cohesion is occasionally mechanical, but overall organization remains clear, securing a Band 6.5.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range for the task, successfully incorporating topic-related terms such as 'formal learning', 'problem solving skills', 'mental health', and 'academic stress'. There are, however, noticeable word choice and collocation issues. For example, the phrase 'primary learning' is used instead of 'primary schooling' or 'formal learning', and 'students life' misses an apostrophe. Repetition of common words like 'responsible', 'stress', and 'learning' limits the score. While the writer attempts less common vocabulary like 'detrimental' and 'substantial', inaccuracies prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Overall, the lexical resource is sufficient for communication, corresponding to a Band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing relative clauses and conditional structures such as 'if the children focus too much on learning so it is detrimental' (which contains a redundant conjunction 'so'). There are several grammatical errors and punctuation slips throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues like 'improve their problem solving skills' (referring back to 'it builds... as well as improve') and missing capitalization for the first-person pronoun 'i' in the final paragraph. Commas are occasionally misplaced, and some sentences run on. Nevertheless, the errors rarely impede overall communication, placing this criterion comfortably at a Band 6.0.

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