Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-20
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
Some people argue that primary schools place too much emphasis on formal learning and that children should have more opportunities to play. I largely agree with this view because although academic education is essential, play is equally important for children's overall development.
Formal learning provides children with basic knowledge and skills they need for their future education. Subjects such as mathematics, language and science help young learners develope their ability to read, write, calculate and understand the world around them. Additionally, learning in a structured environment can teach children important qualities such as discipline, concentration, and responsibility. Therefore, primrary schools should certainly maintain a strong academic foundation.
However, I believe that excessive academic pressure can be inappropriate for young children. At this stage of life, children learn not only through textbooks but also through exploration and interaction with others. Play allows them to develope creativity, communication skills and the ability to cooperate with classmates. For example, when children participate in team games, they learn how to share, follow rules, solve disagrements and work towards a common goal. These are valuable skills that cannot always be developed through traditional classroom lessons.
Furthermore, paly an make learning more enjoyable and can help children remain interested in school. Activities such as educational games, drawings, role playing and outdoor exercisees can combine learning with enjoyable. Rather than treating play as a break from education , school can use it as another method of teaching. For instance, a mathematics lession could include games involving numbers, while language classes could incorporate storytelling or role-play.
In conclusion, i agree that some primary schools may focus exessively on formal education. While academic subjects are necessary, children should also have sufficient time for play because it supports their social, emotional and creative development. A balanced approach that combines structured learning with meaningful play is therefore the most suitable for primary school education.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response addresses all parts of the two-part prompt clearly, examining both the extent of agreement regarding formal learning in primary schools and the importance of play alongside learning. The writer establishes a clear position in the introduction ('I largely agree with this view') and maintains it throughout the essay. Ideas are extended and well-supported with relevant explanations and examples, such as how team games teach sharing and conflict resolution, and how mathematical lessons can incorporate numbers through games. The development of ideas is logical and comprehensive, fitting the criteria for a Band 7.0 by covering all parts of the task effectively while maintaining a well-supported argument.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay presents a clear logical organisation and progression throughout. Each paragraph has a distinct central topic, moving smoothly from an introduction of the dual perspective, to the merits of formal learning, the benefits of play, methods of integrating play into teaching, and a concise conclusion. Cohesive devices are used appropriately, such as 'Additionally', 'However', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion'. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and effectively. While referencing is generally clear and cohesive relationships hold well, there are occasional minor mechanical errors in cohesion and referencing, placing this performance solidly at Band 7.0.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The student demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow for some flexibility and precision, employing terms such as 'overall development', 'structured environment', 'exploration', and 'cooperate'. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary like 'excessive academic pressure' and 'incorporate storytelling'. However, there are a few spelling and typographical errors throughout the text, including 'develope' instead of 'develop', 'primrary', 'disagrements', 'paly an make' (play and make), 'drawings' (drawing), 'exercisees' (exercises), 'enjoyable' (enjoyment), 'i' (I), and 'exessively'. Despite these occasional lexical and spelling inaccuracies, communication is never impeded, reflecting the Band 6.5 descriptor well.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms effectively, demonstrating control over relative clauses and conditional-like structures, such as 'when children participate in team games, they learn how to share...' and 'Rather than treating play as a break from education, school can use it as another method of teaching.' There are some minor grammatical and punctuation errors present, such as plural/singular agreement issues ('exercisees', 'disagrements') and minor capitalization errors ('i agree'). However, the majority of sentences are grammatically sound and punctuation is generally handled well. The structural variety and overall control align comfortably with a Band 7.0 performance.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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