Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent years, Education system has totally changed in the schools. Most of the schools are following the structured system provided by the management. Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. I firmly agree with this argument that the schools are focusing more on organised structure of learning.

Learning through an organised structure in the primary schools leds the children to set their boundaries in their learning environment. The childrens start rote learning instead of undertanding the context of the subject. While, the techers also giving the lecture which is gain through rote learning from a structured provided by the management. As a result, they will lack in their teaching skills by providing real life examples to the childrens. Moreover, The childrens also face problems in their exam due to not familiar with the context of the subject throughly, they can't able to perform well in the exam which affect to their academic scores.

Furthermore, It is also important for the childrens to focus on their physical activity. Schools should include a period of time where childrens can play games like cricket, football, kabaddi.

Moreover, parents should also encourage childrens to take part in the games held in schools. This keeps children more active during their study hours and learning effectively because physical activities like games help the children to be physically and mentally fit. For instance, primary schools encourage children in play which help them to boosts their energy, perform well in their academics.

To sum up, the education system should provide the reliable learning platforms by including some real life examples where the children can get the clearity to the subject and perform well in their academics. In addition, they should also include some physical activity in the schools to keep childrens physically and mentally fit.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, agreeing with the notion that primary schools focus too much on formal learning and discussing the importance of play alongside learning. A clear position is maintained throughout the essay. However, the ideas are somewhat repetitive and lack deeper extension. For instance, the discussion on rote learning and teachers lacking real-life examples touches on relevant points, but it remains brief and general. The second body paragraph introduces physical activity and its benefits, which effectively answers the second part of the prompt, though the examples given (like mentioning specific games) are quite basic. Overall, the task is addressed adequately, placing this response at Band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a concluding summary. Paragraphing is utilised to separate the two main prompts, helping the reader follow the flow of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or faulty. For example, starting sentences with 'While, the techers also giving the lecture' or repetitive use of 'Moreover' disrupts the natural progression. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, such as pronoun ambiguity with 'they' in the second paragraph. This demonstrates the characteristics of Band 5.5, rounded to 5.5 as per standard increments.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The lexical resource is limited and adequate for the task, but contains noticeable errors that occasionally impede fluency. The student attempts some less common vocabulary such as 'structured system', 'rote learning', and 'physically and mentally fit', but struggles with collocation and word forms. Examples of errors include 'leds' instead of 'leads', 'techers' instead of 'teachers', 'clearity' instead of 'clarity', and incorrect phrasing like 'due to not familiar with'. Furthermore, there is repetition of basic words like 'childrens' (incorrect plural form used repeatedly), 'learning', and 'school'. These limitations place the lexical range firmly at a Band 5.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but grammatical accuracy is weak throughout the essay. There are frequent errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure, such as 'Education system has totally changed', 'the techers also giving the lecture which is gain through', and 'they can't able to perform well'. Punctuation and capitalization errors are also present, such as unnecessary capitalization in the middle of sentences ('Moreover, The childrens...'). While communication is generally maintained despite these errors, the high frequency of non-systematic structural mistakes prevents the essay from reaching Band 6.0.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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