Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Certain individuals may insist that formal learning at the primary level is highly prioritized over other forms of education that may prove more beneficial for a child's development. I concede with this argument for several reasons.

To begin, one can notice how children as young as 6 years old are required by a governmental imposed curriculum to study: writing, reading, basic algebra and geometry, science, as well as religious studies. Not to mention, children as young as 8 years old get extra subjects aside from the aforementioned which include: history, civic education, and two foreign languags. Although a lot of these subjects are necessary for the child's intellectual development, they shouldn't be taught in such excessivness while overlooking the child's need for sensory and physical activities.

Moreover, education shouldn't focus on memorization but rather the development of a learner's cognitive abilities and problem solving skills. For instance, pupils in my local primary school seem to not function when their parents aren't around, they lack social skills, get scammed by some store owners when buying, and have a general disregard for their safety. However, when approached and asked about their grades, they all seem to be top students.

In addition, a lot of these students exhibit behavioural problems, this could be attributed to the absence of an outlet for these little ones to dispense their emotions, the lack of sports excercises and fun physical activities for the children can lead to rebellious behaviour.

In conclusion, we shouldn't completely abolish formal learning but we shouldn't also disregard the need of children to express themselves and be active.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, acknowledging the focus on formal learning and discussing the importance of play alongside learning. The writer takes a clear position ('I concede with this argument') and supports it with relevant ideas, such as the heavy curriculum and the lack of social and physical outlets for children. However, some ideas are slightly under-developed or tend to over-generalise, such as the claim that primary school pupils 'don't function when their parents aren't around' and 'get scammed'. Despite these minor generalisations, the task is adequately covered, aligning well with the Band 6.5 or Band 7 criteria.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay has a clear overall arrangement and logical progression, moving from the introduction to curriculum specifics, practical consequences, and a concluding summary. Paragraphing is used sufficiently to separate distinct points, such as academic overload versus social skills and behavioural issues. Cohesive devices are employed, including transition markers like 'To begin', 'Moreover', 'In addition', and 'In conclusion'. However, some referencing and linking are a bit mechanical or slightly repetitive, and paragraph internal cohesion could be smoother. This reflects the Band 6.5 to 7 range, settling comfortably at 6.5.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items and academic phrases such as 'intellectual development', 'cognitive abilities', 'problem solving skills', and 'behavioural problems'. There are a few word choice and collocation inaccuracies, such as 'governmental imposed curriculum' instead of 'government-imposed', 'excessivness' instead of 'excess', and 'sports excercises' instead of 'exercise'. However, these lexical errors do not impede communication, allowing the reader to easily follow the argument, which fits the Band 6 descriptors well.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating a reasonable command of grammar. Examples like 'Although a lot of these subjects are necessary for the child's intellectual development, they shouldn't be taught...' show an ability to handle complex structures. However, there are notable grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'I concede with this argument' (concede to/agree with), 'two foreign languags' (spelling), and a comma splice in 'exhibit behavioural problems, this could be attributed to...'. These errors occur with some frequency but rarely impede overall communication, placing this response at Band 6.0.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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