Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Today's technological era numbers of development have been done in many different ways such as travelling, technology, home-facilities. However, many individuals argue that primary schools are more dependent on traditional learning. I partially agree with this statement because create a balance between study and playing both are essential areas of children's growth.

Firstly, the first reason for primary schools may change their education system because giving children's long hours lectures and homework, and examination create a negative impact on mental health like, lose their creativity and curiosity to learn something new and also create pressure at very young age. Moreover, it also forgets some important aspects like communication skills and cooperation. For example, children who perform activity in groups regularly they became naturally confident and then those who did not do anything in groups.

Nonetheless, formal learning is also as important as learning while playing in groups because sitting at one place and focus on one topic, that create positive impact on young children such as learn the discipline, concentration and ability to fallow set of rules. So, reducing formal education will not be appropriate: Instead, schools create balance between formal learning with some interesting games. For example, countries like India where schools are highly dependent on formal learning have one of the best talents in technology and space engineering.

In conclusion, I agree that schools obsessed with formal learning, particularly, on discipline and obey the rules with huge amount of pressure impact negative on children. However, Strong academic study is very important but also need some changes like learning while playing, these also fundamentally very essential. So, schools create balance between both.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The student addresses all parts of the task by discussing whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning, presenting a clear position that a balance is needed, and exploring the importance of play alongside study. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and occasionally repetitive. For example, the argument regarding mental health and creativity is introduced in the second paragraph but lacks specific, fully elaborated examples. The mention of India in the third paragraph attempts to provide real-world support, though the connection remains slightly underdeveloped. Overall, the response meets the criteria for Band 6 because it directly addresses the prompt and presents a relevant position, though the depth of support could be further extended.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is organised into logical paragraphs with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, presenting an overall coherent structure. Cohesive devices are used to signal shifts in thought, such as 'Firstly', 'Moreover', 'Nonetheless', and 'In conclusion'. However, referencing and cohesion are sometimes faulty or mechanical, as seen in awkward transitions like 'So, reducing formal education will not be appropriate: Instead, schools create balance...' Additionally, paragraphing serves to separate ideas, but some internal logical progression is occasionally disrupted by abrupt phrasing or missing conjunctions. This corresponds to Band 6, where the arrangement is coherent overall, but cohesive elements can be mechanical or imprecise.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The student attempts a range of vocabulary suitable for an academic discussion, including terms like 'technological era', 'communication skills', 'cooperation', and 'space engineering'. However, there are frequent noticeable errors in word choice, form, and collocation, such as writing 'create a balance' as 'create balance', 'fallow set of rules' instead of 'follow a set of rules', and 'obsessed with' rather than 'preoccupied with'. Despite these inaccuracies, the vocabulary is adequate for the task and communication is rarely impeded, placing the lexical control firmly at Band 5.5, which rounds to Band 5 based on standard whole/half-band increments matching the profile.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating relative clauses and conditional structures. However, grammatical accuracy is weak, featuring frequent errors in verb forms, prepositions, and sentence construction. Examples include 'numbers of development have been done', 'because create a balance', 'children who perform activity in groups regularly they became naturally confident', and 'impact negative on children'. These frequent structural and agreement errors occasionally cause difficulty for the reader, though the overall meaning remains understandable. This performance aligns with Band 5, where a limited range of structures is used and frequent errors persist.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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