Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It's a common argument among citizens that fundamental schools focus too much on formal learning.

I mostly agree with this opinion. But my opinion on this topic depends on some critical factors, including study hours, leisure, and play time.

Formal learning in the primary shcools is the most crucial things to do as parents sends their children to be self-educated. If the childrens are not educated, it can be harder for them to get a good career and to develop moral values. At this age, children's brain is like a mold that can be resized into any kind of shape. A teacher can do it by teaching them the honesty and morality along with the formal education.

On the other hand, at the age when childrens are studying in the fundamental schools is not only dedicated for studying. Their mind needs refreshment and dopamine release to become happy and give more focus on their study. By playing with their classmates in the classroom, they can refreshen their mind. Furthermore, playing is also essential for physical growth and development. The best example of this is my childhood, when I used to play in the classroom at leisure time with my friends and that was one of the reasons I could focus more on my studies, getting higher marks in the exams. Not only that, I also participated in some of the sport events at that time. These helped me to develop my bone and muscle more stronger which is why I am still strong enough to carry myself at the age of 70.

Therefore, though the school is mostly for the study purpose, but it is also necessary to give the oppostunity to the children to play at their leisure time with each other. Because of these reasons, I choose to agree with that opinion.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The student addresses all parts of the task by discussing whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning and exploring the importance of play in the classroom. A clear position is established and maintained throughout the essay. Ideas are extended and supported, such as when the writer explains how play aids physical development and mental refreshment. However, some arguments lack deeper elaboration, such as the claim regarding moral values and brain development, placing this response firmly at Band 6. The student presents relevant ideas, but certain sections remain somewhat under-developed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear paragraph-by-paragraph structure. Introduction and conclusion paragraphs are present, and the body paragraphs tackle the two prompt questions respectively. However, cohesion is at times mechanical or faulty. For instance, transitional phrases like 'On the other hand' and 'Therefore' are used, but referencing can be unclear, such as the vague pronoun usage in 'at the age when childrens are studying in the fundamental schools is not only dedicated for studying'. Paragraphing is used sufficiently, but overall logical progression can feel disjointed due to phrasing issues, aligning with Band 6 descriptors.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The student attempts less common vocabulary such as 'fundamental schools', 'dopamine release', and 'refreshment', but these show some inaccuracy and non-standard collocations (e.g., 'fundamental schools' instead of 'primary schools', 'crucial things' instead of 'a crucial thing'). There are several spelling and word-choice errors, such as 'shcools' and 'oppostunity', though they rarely impede overall communication. The range is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to convey their meaning, but noticeable errors in word choice restrict the score to a Band 5.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some ambitious structures like conditional sentences ('If the childrens are not educated, it can be harder...'). However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including pluralization errors ('childrens'), subject-verb agreement issues ('is not only dedicated'), and awkward phrasing ('more stronger'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but grammatical inaccuracies cause some difficulty for the reader and prevent the text from reaching Band 6 consistently.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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