Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-20
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
Some people believe that primary schools place excessive emphasis on formal learning. I largely agree with this opinion because young children need opportunities to develop social, creative and physical skills through play. However, academic learning should still remain an important part of an education system.
In my opinion, many schools focus heavily on subjects such as science, mathematics and language, leaving limited time for other extra curricular activities. Although these subjects provide children with essential knowledge, excessive academic pressure can supress their overall performance and reduces natural curiosity. Additionally, children will no longer be socially active and spend most of their time at homes doing their regular homework. At a young age, children can learn effectively when lessons are enjoyable and interactive rather than based entirely on textbooks and written exercises.
Therefore, I believe that play should have an important place in the primary classroom. Games can help children develop communication, teamwork and problem solving skills while also improving their physical and emotional well-being. Furthermore, games boosts creativity, enhances motor skills and increases self confidence. For example, teachers can use various educational games, role playing activities, outdoor games and group projects to teach concepts in an engaging way. Such activities allow children to learn while developing confidence and cooperation.
In conclusion, although formal education is necessary for building a strong academic foundation, I believe primary schools should provide a better balance between study and play. A combination of structured learning and enjoyable activities can help children develop both academically and personally.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response addresses all parts of the two-part prompt successfully. You present a clear position from the beginning ('I largely agree with this opinion') and maintain it throughout the essay. You discuss both the excessive focus on formal learning and the importance of play in primary schools, providing relevant explanations and examples such as role-playing activities and group projects. Ideas are generally well supported, although some points in the second body paragraph could be extended slightly further. Overall, the task response is well-rounded and hits all the key requirements effectively, aligning strongly with Band 7 standards.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organised with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a clear central topic, such as the drawbacks of excessive academic pressure and the benefits of play. Cohesive devices are used appropriately to guide the reader through your arguments, such as 'However', 'Additionally', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion'. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately. While referencing is generally clear, a slightly smoother transition between the second and third paragraphs could enhance the overall flow, positioning this solidly at Band 7.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate an adequate to good range of vocabulary suitable for an academic essay, incorporating terms like 'excessive emphasis', 'extra curricular activities', 'natural curiosity', and 'emotional well-being'. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, though a few minor errors occur, such as spelling 'supress' (suppress) and 'boosts' (boost, agreeing with 'games'). Word choice is generally appropriate and communication is never impeded. With a slightly wider deployment of more sophisticated collocation and strictly flawless spelling, a higher band could be achieved, but your current control firmly sits at Band 6.5, which rounds to 7.0 or sits securely at 6.5. Let's award 6.5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
You display a good mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing conditional structures and subordinate clauses effectively (e.g., 'Although these subjects provide children with essential knowledge, excessive academic pressure can supress...'). There are some minor grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement ('games boosts' instead of 'game boosts' or 'games boost') and missing hyphens in compound adjectives ('extra curricular' should be 'extracurricular'). Punctuation is generally accurate, and your errors do not impede communication. The presence of frequent error-free sentences alongside complex structures places this performance comfortably in the Band 6.5 to 7.0 range. We will award a 6.5.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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