Band 8.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 8.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-21
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 8.0)
Nowadays, academic subjects like science and mathematics have become the core focus of early childhood education. This shift has led many to argue that primary schools spend excessive time on these courses, resulting in the neglect of creative subjects. I completely agree with the view that formal education is overemphasized in primary institutions. Furthermore, I believe that co-curricular activities are highly beneficial for children's development and must be integrated into their daily school routines.
To begin with, focusing solely on traditional subjects is counterproductive and overburdens young learners. This occurs because forcing children to memorize complex concepts ignores their natural learning processes. When schools allocate long hours to demanding courses too early, students suffer from intense stress and quickly lose interest in studying. This ultimately stifles their creativity, preventing them from developing their natural talents and critical thinking skills. For instance, many young pupils facing heavy exam pressure experience childhood burnout and school-related anxiety. Therefore, concentrating exclusively on academic courses causes more harm than good at a young age.
Furthermore, integrating co-curricular activities into the daily routine is vital for a child's overall growth. By participating in games and collaborative tasks, students naturally acquire essential skills such as teamwork, leadership, communication, and problem-solving, which textbooks alone cannot teach. For example, utilizing building blocks or group games can help students learn both mathematical concepts and vital social skills. Therefore, combining formal education with physical and creative activities is crucial for a student's academic and personal progression.
To conclude, I strongly believe that primary schools dedicate too much time to teaching complex subjects. Educational institutions should ensure they blend academic coursework with co-curricular activities within the school timetable. This balanced approach will allow children to learn effectively without experiencing stress and burnout.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 8.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 8.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 7.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 8.0 |
| Overall | 8.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 8.0
The student fully addresses all parts of the two-part prompt. The stance on formal learning being overemphasized is crystal clear throughout the response, and the second part regarding the importance of play and co-curricular activities is comprehensively explored and supported. In the first body paragraph, the writer explains how intense exam pressure leads to burnout and a loss of creativity. In the second body paragraph, specific benefits of collaborative tasks and play, such as developing teamwork and communication skills, are clearly highlighted and extended with relevant examples like group games and building blocks. The ideas are well-developed and maintain a strong focus on the overarching question, meeting the criteria for a high band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 8.0
The essay displays a clear logical organization and progression throughout. Each paragraph has a distinct central topic, starting with an introduction that outlines the writer's position, followed by two well-structured body paragraphs, and concluding with a concise summary. Cohesive devices are used naturally and effectively, such as 'To begin with', 'Furthermore', and 'To conclude', which guide the reader seamlessly through the arguments. Referencing is handled securely, and paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct aspects of the prompt. While cohesion is not entirely invisible, it is well-managed and supports the clear logical flow of ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 7.5
The student demonstrates a wide and flexible lexical range that is well-suited to an academic essay. There is a skillful use of less common vocabulary items and collocations, such as 'counterproductive', 'stifles their creativity', 'childhood burnout', and 'holistic progression'. Word choice is generally precise and appropriate, with only occasional minor slips. The spelling throughout the text is completely accurate, and the student successfully avoids repetitive phrasing by employing varied synonyms for key concepts like education, children, and activities.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 8.0
The response features a wide range of complex sentence structures used with a high degree of accuracy. The majority of sentences are error-free, demonstrating a strong command of subordinate clauses, conditional meanings, and participial phrases (e.g., 'By participating in games and collaborative tasks, students naturally acquire...'). Grammar and punctuation are well-controlled, and there are only rare, non-systematic slips that do not impede communication in any way. The grammatical control easily satisfies the descriptors for a high band.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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