Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-21
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
Despite progressing rapidly in the method of learning in the field of education, some people argue that primary schools are too focused on traditional and formal learning patterns while others believe that students should also play sports as games are a pivotal component of the education system. I strongly agree with this stance that children should focus on physical activities as well as learning in the primary school classroom.
The primary reason to support this narrative is that it will assist in the revival of the habit of physical training in young children. In addition, sports activites are essential for developing the habit of maintaining physical fitness in growing children of the new generation. Nowadays, the routine of physical excercise is fading rapidly from the majority of the children. As the world is evolving and accepting technological convenience, people are more attracted towards ease rather than following traditional methods. In fact, after COVID pandemic numerous incidents of cardiac arrest have occured in individuals who were not performing any sort of physical excercise.
Another reason that influences my mind to support this side of the argument is that participating in sports can be beneficial for boosting the creativity and critical thinking of young students in primary schools. Creative games exert a positive impact on the growing children's minds and encourage them to think more curiously. Developed countries have integrated physical games in their primary education and now their generations are considered among the genius ones.
To conclude, I firmly believe that sports must be added to the education system of primary schools, as it is as necessary as learning. It can be beneficial to reintroduce the trend of physical excercises which will ultimately reduce the rate of various heart diseases. Furthermore, it can increase the creative strength and also exert healthy effects on young brains to boost their productivity.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response addresses all parts of the prompt effectively. You clearly state your position on the issue in the introduction by stating, 'I strongly agree with this stance that children should focus on physical activities as well as learning.' You then address both aspects of the task: the extent to which formal learning is focused upon and the importance of play alongside learning. Your main body paragraphs provide reasons and examples, such as discussing how physical training combats the rise of cardiac arrest after the COVID pandemic and how creative games boost critical thinking. While some arguments could benefit from further nuanced development rather than broad assertions about 'genius' generations in developed countries, your ideas are well-supported and fully relevant to the prompt, easily meeting the requirements for a Band 7.0.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
Your essay demonstrates a clear logical organization and progression throughout. The introductory paragraph successfully sets up the background and outlines your stance. Each body paragraph has a clear central topic: the first body paragraph focuses on physical fitness and health benefits, while the second explores creativity and critical thinking. You use cohesive devices adequately to guide the reader, such as 'The primary reason to support this narrative', 'In addition', and 'Another reason that influences my mind'. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, separating distinct ideas into distinct blocks of text. Referencing is generally clear, contributing to an overall smooth reading experience that aligns well with the Band 7.0 descriptors.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary for the task, allowing for some flexibility and precision. You successfully incorporate less common and topic-specific vocabulary items such as 'pivotal component', 'technological convenience', 'critical thinking', and 'productivity'. However, there are a few spelling errors ('activites', 'excercise', 'occured') and minor collocation choices that prevent a higher score. Despite these occasional lexical inaccuracies, the vocabulary used is adequate to convey your message clearly without impeding communication, representing a solid performance at the Band 6.5 level.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
You display a mix of simple and complex sentence forms throughout the response. You successfully construct longer, multi-clause sentences, such as 'Despite progressing rapidly in the method of learning in the field of education, some people argue that primary schools are too focused...' There are, however, some grammatical errors and punctuation issues present, particularly with missing commas or clumsy phrasing like 'growing children's minds' and 'among the genius ones.' While these errors occur, they are relatively minor and rarely impede communication. The majority of your sentences remain functional and clear, which corresponds well to the descriptors for Band 6.5.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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