Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The growing influence primary school focus too much on formal learning has sparked various debates. This issue is particularly significant because its impact affect individuals communities in multiple ways. In this essay, I will discuss agree and disagree aspects of children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom and their implication for society.

One of the key brenefits and some school teacher provide a better education school students. Therefore, administration provide a school better teacher as focus on children education and better health and provide a better medical doctor which should be a provide better check up. Some students focus on other difficult books as a maths, english, physices and other book on focus is that its promotes access to a wide range of opporunities. This is also evident from the fact many students has been not a provide better faclities. Government should be a provide a btter education and and monthly scholarship.

Some people playing a game and physical game benefits has students not a stress and health life. Healthy life better and life not a sick. Many students ne day not a join school a focus on mobile phone and mobile phone side on eyes and brain not join a healthy life using mobile phone age on very low less then 50 years.

In may opinion, i family maintain focus on education and play game physical. This is primarily because holiday focus on education playing games game is not a stress a men and education provide life benefits. Consequently, embracing this perspective would not only benefit individuals but also contribute in the long-term.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response attempts to address the prompt regarding formal learning in primary schools and the importance of play, but it struggles significantly with task development and clarity. While the writer mentions both formal learning and physical games, the ideas are underdeveloped, highly repetitive, and often drift into unrelated topics such as medical doctors, monthly scholarships, and mobile phone usage. This wandering focus prevents a clear, sustained position from emerging throughout the essay. Because the arguments are disjointed and lack logical extension, the overall task response falls under the Band 4 descriptors, where the prompt is addressed only minimally or tangentially due to frequent irrelevance and lack of clear structure.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the overall organisation and progression of ideas are severely disrupted by lack of logical sequencing. Cohesive devices are either missing, misused, or mechanical, as seen in transitions like 'Therefore, administration provide a school better teacher' and 'In may opinion, i family maintain focus...'. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal unity and progression of each paragraph are weak because sentences do not follow logically from one another. Referencing is frequently unclear, leaving the reader to guess the connections between ideas. These features place the response at Band 4, where information and ideas are not arranged coherently and progression is lacking.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary used throughout the essay is basic, repetitive, and heavily restricted. The writer relies on simple words like 'better', 'school', 'students', and 'focus', repeating them constantly without variation (e.g., 'provide a better education school students... provide a school better teacher'). There are numerous word choice and collocation errors, such as 'brenefits', 'physices', 'opporunities', and 'play game physical'. These frequent lexical errors and the extremely limited range of vocabulary strain the reader and frequently impede communication, aligning with the Band 4 descriptors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The grammatical range is extremely limited, consisting almost entirely of poorly constructed simple or attempted complex sentences that are riddled with errors. The writer demonstrates little control over basic grammatical structures, subject-verb agreement, and tense consistency. Examples of severe structural breakdowns include 'The growing influence primary school focus too much...', 'its impact affect individuals communities', and 'Many students ne day not a join school a focus on mobile phone'. Punctuation and word forms are consistently inaccurate, and errors are so frequent that they constantly distort meaning and cause severe difficulty for the reader, which directly matches the Band 4 criteria.

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