Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Primary school education is pivotal in fostering children's cognitive development and knowledge acquisition. While some people assert that these institution place undue emphasis on formal learning, I agree up to some extent with this given notion because integrating play with study is of paramount importance in the early years of education.

To commence with, that there is a growing concern that contemporary primary education has become excessively oriented towards formal instruction, often at the expense of practical, hands-on learning. Learners are usually scored in examination by rote memorization and they have no knowledge about concepts and topics which lacks of creativity and critical thinking. For instance, students are frequently evaluated that reward memorization, leaving little room for imaginative explorations physical activities. This not only affect intellectual curiosity but also undermine the holistic development of children, neglecting their physical and emotional well-being.

In the classroom, the conventional approaches of lectures and assigned tasks may less effective for transmitting theoretical knowledge, but it often fails to engage young learners. Conversely, incorporating games and interactive activities into learning process can significantly enhance comprehension and retention. To illustrate with example, using word-based games to teach vocabulary can transform a monotonous lesson into an engaging and enjoyable experience thereby fostering a lifelong love for learning. Moreover, play, indoors or outdoors is instrumental in developing essential skill such as leadership, multicultural awareness and discipline. These competencies are not only vital for academic success, but also for personal growth and social integration.

In conclusion, while formal education undeniably provides a foundation for academic knowledge, primary schools must strike a balance by embedding play into the curriculum.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response successfully addresses all parts of the two-part prompt. The writer presents a clear position agreeing that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and thoroughly discusses the importance of play alongside study in the classroom. Ideas are extended and supported with relevant explanations and examples, such as the use of word-based games for teaching vocabulary. However, there are minor instances of slight over-generalisation and expression awkwardness, such as stating learners have 'no knowledge about concepts', which places this performance solidly in the Band 7 category.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay presents a clear logical organisation and progression throughout. Information and ideas are coherently linked, with appropriate paragraphing used to separate the introduction, the discussion on formal learning, the benefits of play, and the conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To commence with', 'Conversely', and 'Moreover', though some transitions and referencing occasionally feel slightly mechanical or are impacted by minor grammatical slips (e.g., 'which lacks of creativity'). Overall, the cohesion supports the structure of the argument well, earning a Band 7.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The writer demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary for flexibility and precision, incorporating less common lexical items such as 'pivotal', 'undue emphasis', 'monotonous', and 'holistic development'. There is an awareness of style and collocation, although some minor inaccuracies occur, such as 'these institution' instead of 'these institutions', and 'explorations physical activities' where a preposition or conjunction was missed. These errors do not impede communication, allowing the essay to achieve a Band 6.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including conditional and subordinate clauses like 'While some people assert that...' and 'incorporating games... can significantly enhance...'. There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings throughout the text, such as 'I agree up to some extent', 'which lacks of creativity', 'frequently evaluated that reward memorization', and 'this not only affect... but also undermine'. While these errors do not impede overall communication, they persist frequently enough to prevent the score from reaching a Band 7.

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