Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays people in a domain believe that most of the pre schools tend to give formal learning to the students. In my opnion, it is a demanding issue to be fixed by providing informal learning in the school which help for the holistic development of the students not only in academics but also shape their future.

A good reason for this is formal education helps the students only to improve in academics. But for a overall development of the students along with academics, they should engage in various extra curricular activities which helps in the significant collaboration and cooperation among the students. In recent times it is seen that most of the primary school create an environmnet for thestudents to engaged in studies. Moreover, students don't get an opportunity for hands-on experience which is a part of informal education. Formal education only give avague idea of theory to the students. For example, the result of a recent study reflects that too much focus in formal learning leads to mental detoritation of students which leads to stress, anxiety and attention span issues. On top of that, strict education which lean only on formal education delay the critical thinking skill in the student which is to be fixed be

In conclusion, it is important to provide formal leraning to the students.However, along with that we should be quite keen on providing informal education to the students which foster the overall development of the primary children from their growing phase itself

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response attempts to address both parts of the prompt regarding formal learning in primary schools and the importance of play. However, the essay is unfinished, ending abruptly mid-sentence ("...which is to be fixed be"). Furthermore, the length requirement of 250 words is not met, as the student's response contains only 248 words. Although the ideas regarding mental deterioration and hands-on experience are relevant, they are underdeveloped due to the incomplete conclusion and trailing final sentence. Therefore, Task Achievement is penalised for incompleteness and falling short of the word count, aligning best with a Band 5.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay displays some overall organization, attempting an introduction, body paragraph, and a brief conclusion. However, the progression is disrupted by mechanical and faulty cohesive devices, such as starting the main body with "A good reason for this is..." when the prompt asks about agreement and the importance of play. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the paragraphing breaks down at the end due to the unfinished text and lack of a proper closing argument. While transitions like "Moreover" and "On top of that" are attempted, the overall logical flow is hindered by abrupt phrasing and incomplete sentences, supporting a Band 5.0 score.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The student uses a minimally adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common phrases such as "holistic development", "hands-on experience", and "critical thinking skill". However, there are noticeable spelling and word choice errors throughout the text, including "opnion" instead of opinion, "environmnet", "avague", "detoritation" instead of deterioration, and writing "pre schools" and "primary school" inconsistently. These lexical errors and awkward collocations like "strict education which lean only on formal education" restrict the score to Band 5.0, as the inaccuracies sometimes cause difficulty for the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as "In my opnion, it is a demanding issue to be fixed by providing informal learning..." and "For example, the result of a recent study reflects that too much focus in formal learning leads to..." However, there are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ("formal learning... which help", "school create an environmnet for thestudents to engaged"), missing prepositions, and poor punctuation. The grammar breaks down completely at the end of the response where the sentence is left unfinished. These persistent errors place the grammatical performance at a Band 5.0.

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