Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-22
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Most people believe that primary schools focus only on formal learning. However, some people believe that there should be extra physical activities with academics. I completely agree with second view that it is important for children to play as well as learn in primary schools classroom.
On the one hand, individuals believe that primary schools are focusing only on formal learning. This is because students have to attend all classes in a day and there is no physical activities like games or exerecise. Primary schools teach only academic courses rather than adding some physical activities. For example, children follow timetable of primary schools and its full of theoratical classes. Another factor is that people believe that student should be focused on their classes to achieve succes. Moreover, they beleive that playing is the waste of time.
On the other hand, some people believe that playing is important for childrens. Primary schools should include playing period or some physical activities in their timetable. For example, when childrens will play daily in their institute, they will be more focused than others childrens. Primary schools can include extra curriculm activities to entertain their students. They can hire a athelte to give classes to their children. Because exercise contribute to better mental health, mood, physical health.
In conclusion, altough stay focus on academics lead to better ratio in succesful in life. I believe that playing can contribute to mental health and physical health and than they can be more focused on their academics cources.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt, agreeing that formal learning is overemphasized and highlighting the importance of play alongside learning. A clear position is maintained throughout the essay. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. For instance, the discussion on physical health and mental health in the third body paragraph is brief and lacks concrete examples or thorough elaboration. While the prompt asks for relevant examples from personal knowledge or experience, the examples provided remain quite general, such as mentioning that children follow a timetable full of theoretical classes. Overall, the task is addressed adequately, fitting the criteria for a band 6.0.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with clear paragraphing, dividing the introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion logically. Cohesive devices are employed to signal transitions, such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'. However, referencing and cohesion are sometimes faulty or mechanical. For example, the sentence 'when childrens will play daily in their institute, they will be more focused than others childrens' exhibits awkward pronoun referencing and repetitive phrasing. Paragraph transitions could be smoother, and the final conclusion is disjointed due to grammatical errors that obscure the logical link between ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting words like 'theoretical', 'curriculum', and 'institute'. However, there are notable spelling errors and incorrect word forms throughout the text, such as 'exerecise' instead of exercise, 'theoratical' instead of theoretical, 'succes' instead of success, and 'athelte' instead of athlete. Additionally, collocation and word choice are sometimes awkward, as seen in phrases like 'stay focus on academics lead to better ratio in succesful in life'. These lexical errors show a limitation in precision and control, placing the response firmly at band 5.5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as conditional clauses ('when childrens will play daily...') and concessive clauses ('altough stay focus on academics lead to...'). However, frequent grammatical errors are present throughout the text, including tense issues ('when childrens will play'), subject-verb agreement errors ('childrens', 'cources'), and poor clause structures ('altough stay focus on academics lead to better ratio in succesful in life'). These errors frequently cause strain for the reader and indicate a lack of reliable control over complex grammar, corresponding to a band 5.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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