Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In contemporary education, there is a growing debate regarding whether primary schools place an excessive emphasis on traditional, structured academic instruction. I completely agree with the view that early education overly focused on formal learning, and I believe that integrating play into the daily classroom routine is absolutely crucial for a child's holistic development.

The primary argument against the current educational system is its rigid obsession with standardized testing system and early literacy and numeracy. In many countries, curriculum guidelines push young ones to sit at desk for hours, memorizing facts and completing worksheets. This hyper-focus on formal learning is often counterproductive because young children are not developmentally ready for prolonged exhausting instructions. Consequentally, this high-pressure environment can lead to early academic burnout, school-related anxiety , and a loss of natural curiosity.

Furthermore, incorporting play time into classroom is not a distraction, but rather an essential vehicle for learning. Play is how young minds make sense of the world. Through structured games, building blocks, and role-playing, children naturally develop problem-solving skills and critical thinking. When they perform activities into groups, they learn to share resources, collabration, practice emapthy, and resolve conflicts. For instance, a group science activity performed as a game teaches teamwork and collabration more effectively than a lecture.

In conclusion, many primary schools focus too much on tests and desk work instead of letting children enjoy learning. Playing in the classroom is just as important as reading and math because it teaches young ones how to think, share and work with others. Schools must find a balance between formal learning and playtime to help them grow up happy and healthy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response fully addresses all parts of the two-part prompt by clearly stating a complete agreement regarding excessive formal learning in primary schools and explaining the importance of play. The position is well-developed throughout the essay. The introduction clearly outlines the writer's stance, and the body paragraphs offer relevant and extended arguments supported by examples, such as group science activities demonstrating teamwork. The ideas are relevant and logically expanded, aligning well with the Band 7 to 8 descriptors. However, minor over-generalizations in body paragraphs keep it from the highest bands. Overall, the task response is well-executed, addressing all components effectively with solid justifications.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay displays a clear logical organization and progression throughout. Each paragraph has a distinct central topic, beginning with the critique of current formal systems and moving into the value of play. Cohesive devices are used reasonably well, such as 'Furthermore' and 'In conclusion', though referencing and transitions could occasionally be smoother. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately to separate the introduction, body arguments, and conclusion. While cohesion is generally clear, there are occasional mechanical transitions that prevent the essay from reaching the higher bands where cohesion becomes entirely natural and unobtrusive. Nevertheless, the logical flow is easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The writer demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating less common items and academic phrases such as 'contemporary education', 'holistic development', and 'academic burnout'. There is an awareness of style and collocation, although a few lexical inaccuracies and typos are present, such as 'consequentally' instead of 'consequently', 'incorporting' instead of 'incorporating', and 'collabration' instead of 'collaboration'. Despite these minor spelling and word-choice errors, the vocabulary is adequate to convey precise meanings without impeding communication, fitting comfortably within the Band 7 profile.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The response employs a good mix of simple and complex sentence structures, demonstrating a variety of grammatical forms such as conditional-style arguments and relative clauses. There are frequent error-free sentences, showing decent control over grammar. However, a few localized errors persist, such as 'early education overly focused' (missing auxiliary verb) and 'push young ones to sit at desk' (missing plural/article). Punctuation errors also occur, such as the spacing before the comma in 'school-related anxiety ,'. These errors are non-systematic and rarely impede communication, placing the essay securely in the Band 7 category.

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