Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often argued that the primary schools focus more on formal learning. I strongly agree with this statement because education play an important role in shaping individuals skills, knowledge and future opportunities. In my opinion, it is very crucial for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom for balanced outcome.

On the one hand why primary school focus too much on academic. This is because formal education provide knowledge and helps in shaping individuals skills at early age. If primary school classrooms will only focus on formal learning, excessive academic pressure may negatively affects student's confidence, motivation and overall well-being. For instance, in many countries, such as India and pakistan, academic pressure in the primary classroom are very high because of their parents expectations and teaching policies which only focus on learning. As a result, it negatively affects the children overall growth at early age.

On the other hand play should be an essential part in the primary classroom because it enables the children to grow mentally and stay physically fit. Although, learning is mandatory for knowledge and future opportunities, play is equally essential for individuals physical health. Studies have shown that the classrooms with the policy of learning while playing. The overall growth of those children are more physically and mentally balanced. Classrooms who encourage their children to explore and learn, they often have more practical skills.

In conclusion, although formal learning is important for the aspect of knowledge and future opportunities, but play is also crucial part at early age for the overall growth of children. I stronly agree with this statement that primary schools mostly focus on formal learning. In my opinion, a balanced approach should be followed by primary school classroom for effective overall well-being of children.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: it gives an opinion on the focus of primary schools and discusses the importance of play alongside learning. A clear position is maintained throughout, concluding that a balanced approach is necessary. However, some ideas are underdeveloped or repetitive. For example, the explanation of why formal education is emphasized relies on broad generalisations without deep extension. While the inclusion of examples such as India and Pakistan helps illustrate the point on academic pressure, the argument could be strengthened with more precise elaboration. Nonetheless, all parts of the task are addressed adequately, positioning this firmly at a Band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different arguments, such as the focus on academics versus the importance of play. However, cohesion at the sentence level is occasionally faulty or mechanical. For instance, transitional phrases like 'On the one hand why primary school focus too much on academic' are grammatically awkward and disrupt the flow. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and cohesive devices are overused or repetitive, such as the frequent reliance on 'although' and 'in conclusion'. While the logic can be followed, these structural and cohesive flaws place the response at Band 6.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range for the task, successfully incorporating topic-related terms such as 'formal education', 'academic pressure', 'overall well-being', and 'practical skills'. There are, however, several word-choice and collocation errors that hinder precision, such as writing 'education play an important role' instead of 'plays', and 'balanced outcome' rather than a 'balanced approach'. Attempts to use less common vocabulary are evident, but spelling and morphological slips occur, such as 'pakistan' with a lower-case letter and 'stronly'. These errors do not impede overall communication, allowing the response to achieve a Band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some ambitious structures like conditional and subordinate clauses, as seen in 'If primary school classrooms will only focus on formal learning...'. However, this sentence also contains a grammatical error (using 'will' in the conditional clause). There are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation throughout, including subject-verb agreement issues like 'education play' and 'academic pressure... are very high', as well as incomplete sentence fragments such as 'Studies have shown that the classrooms with the policy of learning while playing.' Despite these persistent errors, meaning is rarely impeded, warranting a Band 5.5.

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