Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-22
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In the current educational landscape, the debate over whether primary schools should focusing much on formal learning has sparked diverse opinions. I agree with this perspective and this essay will discuss why. Moreover, it is necessary for students to play in schools.
The major reason to support this statement is that if there will be focus on formal learning this will not only develop discipline in them but also build communication skills. In addition to having formal learning break barrier of nervousness among children and will make them good speaker so they can speak in public. For instance, usually school nowadays prefer formal learning to develop confidence and critical thinking.
On the other hand, formal learning build stress and pressure among children like formal exam create pressure on child mind. Students must follow a fixed schedule and there is little room to differentiate slow and fast learners.
In my perspective, I truely believe that playing is necessary in the primary school classroom because if students will play with learning this will not only improve physical health but also improve their mental health. In other words, if students will be enrolled in physical activities since childhood it will help them to get rid of various health diseases like obesity and dibaties. Moreover, these activities will teach how cooperate and coordinatem with masses.
To sum up, I agree with this perspective because of its several merits like development of interpersonal skills and confidence. The merits of having formal learning overweigh its disadvantages. It is entirely important for children to play at primary school.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to address both parts of the prompt regarding formal learning and play in primary schools. However, the student's stance is somewhat contradictory and confused. In the introduction, the student states they agree that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, but then the second paragraph argues that formal learning develops discipline and communication skills. In the conclusion, the student asserts that 'The merits of having formal learning overweigh its disadvantages,' which directly contradicts the initial agreement with the prompt. Ideas are presented but remain under-developed, and the argument lacks a clear, consistent position throughout the essay. This places the response at Band 5.0.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, featuring a basic introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the logical progression is hindered by contradictory arguments between paragraphs. While some cohesive devices are used, such as 'In addition to' and 'On the other hand', referencing and transitions are frequently clumsy or inaccurate, as seen in phrases like 'if there will be focus on formal learning this will not only develop...'. Paragraphing is attempted, but the grouping of ideas lacks clear thematic consistency, particularly given the conflicting statements regarding formal learning. Overall, these cohesion and structural issues reflect Band 5.0 performance.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The student displays a limited but minimally adequate vocabulary for the task, using words like 'landscape', 'discipline', and 'interpersonal skills'. However, there are noticeable lexical errors and awkward collocations throughout the text, such as 'focusing much' instead of 'focusing too much', 'child mind' instead of 'children's minds', and spelling mistakes like 'dibaties' instead of 'diabetes' and 'truely' instead of 'truly'. Word choices are often repetitive, and the attempt to use less common vocabulary results in inaccuracies that occasionally cause strain for the reader, aligning with Band 5.0 descriptors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but many of the complex structures are faulty or ungrammatical. There are frequent grammatical errors, such as tense and conditional errors ('if there will be focus', 'if students will play'), missing articles ('break barrier', 'create pressure'), and preposition errors. Punctuation is generally basic, and subject-verb agreement issues frequently occur. Because the attempts at complex sentences are often flawed and errors are frequent throughout the text, a band score of 5.0 is appropriate.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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