Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Many people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning rather than other extra activities. I largely agree that the other activities are most crucial than formal learning. Although, by adding extra activities children often face difficulties in their academy.

Some people believed that the primary schools only reached children about their academy by doing this children are many know about their syllabus and got benefits for their exams. Schools teachers teached students how to deal with their academical problem. Childrens get many good grades by formal learning.

On the other hand, primary schools need to teach children in different ways however, they get more academical pressure by doing so. Consequently, teacher need to add more extra activities such as play in their school life. When they only focus on formal learning they feel pressure and don't able to do work properly by adding play they feel little bit fresh and they able to concentrate much more in their study and work. Childrens want to create more precious memory by play with their friends so, primary schools should add play as well. Although, childrens suffer a lot with their academical results by adding play in their schools. Their results are effect by playing while they want to know how to balance play as well study together.

In conclusion, I largely agree in this view, schools only focus on formal study. It is better in some cases but children also want to get relax and enjoy in their life rather than any academical pressure.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: whether formal learning is over-emphasised and the importance of play in the classroom. The candidate states a clear position that other activities are more crucial than formal learning. However, the development of ideas is limited and somewhat repetitive, characteristic of a Band 5 response. For instance, the discussion on academic pressure and relief through play is stated multiple times without introducing fresh supporting arguments or specific examples. The ideas are occasionally contradictory or underdeveloped, such as stating that adding play helps concentration, but immediately concluding that it harms academic results. Consequently, the task is addressed only partially, warranting a Band 5.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a brief conclusion, representing a basic structure. However, overall progression is hindered by weak logical links and repetitive phrasing. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as starting a sentence with 'Although, by adding extra activities...' or 'Consequently, teacher need to add...'. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal paragraph cohesion fails due to abrupt shifts in thought—for example, moving from academic pressure to play and back to results within the same paragraph. Referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult to follow the precise argument. These issues reflect the Band 5 descriptor of containing some organisation but lacking clear overall progression.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary range is limited and frequently repetitive, relying heavily on basic words such as 'formal learning', 'activities', 'children', and 'academic'. There are noticeable word choice and collocation errors throughout the text, such as 'academical problem' instead of 'academic problems', 'reached children about their academy' instead of 'taught children about their academic subjects', and 'feel little bit fresh'. Spelling errors also occur, such as 'academical' instead of 'academic'. These errors cause occasional difficulty for the reader and prevent the vocabulary from reaching a Band 6 level, making a Band 5 a more accurate reflection of the student's control over lexical resources.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but attempts at complex clauses are frequently faulty. For example, sentences beginning with 'Although, by adding extra activities...' are grammatically incomplete or incorrectly punctuated. There are frequent grammatical errors involving subject-verb agreement ('teacher need', 'childrens get'), incorrect verb forms ('teached', 'don't able to do'), and pluralisation ('childrens'). These frequent errors can cause difficulty for the reader and demonstrate limited control over grammatical structures, aligning closely with the Band 5 descriptors where errors are frequent.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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