Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Some people think it is important for children to play as well as study in the primary school classroom while other hand some have a strong openion that learning should a only think that should focus. In this essay I light both the side and then I give my honest openien that at what extent I agree for it.

Sport is one of the important part of children that make them phycaly fit and active as well as improve the skills like leadership, team work, comunication and muchmore, These are the skills also very nessasary on daily life as well as corprate jobs. Primery level of education also not have lanthy slabus that we say childrens not have much time for these activity. However some things that should be take care like student dont get distract from study and totaly diverted towards games and play only and that is posible in most of the cases becouse of a unmature mind of young student. Secondly playing a sport is too much energy consuming activity, Children play games and lost there whole energy and that is give the gap to study.

In conclugen, I totaly aggery that children have to play as well as learn in the primary school becouse play game is inportant for health as well as persnalty and skills growth. The advantages overcome the disadvantages and the demrits can be tackel by making a proper scadule timetable and high calery food for energy issue. For divert mind teachers proper methords of teaching and serten leavel of stricktness is enougf

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the two parts of the prompt, discussing whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning and the importance of play alongside study. However, the development of ideas is limited and somewhat simplistic. The student attempts to state a position ('at what extent I agree for it') and provides supporting points such as physical fitness, skill development, and potential drawbacks like distraction or fatigue. While all parts of the prompt receive some attention, the reasoning remains superficial and under-developed due to restricted elaboration. The vocabulary and grammatical limitations further restrict the depth of idea development, placing this response comfortably at Band 5.0 according to the task achievement descriptors.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The essay displays some structural organisation with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the overall progression is difficult to follow smoothly. Paragraphing is attempted, but paragraph boundaries and internal sequencing are weak, particularly within the body where distinct ideas blend together. Cohesive devices are minimal, mechanical, or inaccurate, such as 'while other hand', 'Secondly', and 'In conclugen'. Referencing is also occasionally unclear. There is no clear overall progression of argument, which aligns the response with the Band 4.0 or 5.0 descriptors; given the basic use of paragraphing and simple linking words, a score of 4.5 is appropriate.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The student uses a very limited and repetitive range of vocabulary. There are numerous spelling errors throughout the text, including 'openion', 'phycaly', 'comunication', 'nessasary', 'corprate', 'Primery', 'lanthy', 'slabus', 'unmature', 'becouse', 'conclugen', 'aggery', 'persnalty', 'scadule', 'calery', 'methords', and 'stricktness'. These errors frequently strain the reader and impede comprehension. While there are a few attempts at less common words like 'corporation' or 'schedule', the persistent spelling mistakes and basic word choices indicate that lexical resource is restricted, fitting the Band 4.0 descriptors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The grammatical range is extremely limited, consisting mostly of simple and attempted complex sentences that contain frequent and severe errors. Examples include 'learning should a only think that should focus', 'Primery level of education also not have lanthy slabus that we say childrens not have much time', and 'play game is inportant for health'. Subject-verb agreement, article usage, tense consistency, and clause structures are heavily flawed throughout the response. Punctuation is also problematic, with run-on sentences and missing terminal punctuation. These pervasive errors cause significant difficulty for the reader, matching the Band 4.0 criteria.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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